Today was the most difficult day of the 30 days...not because I was craving anything...not because I was busy...and not because I was at a Halloween Party surrounded by amazing treats that i was just hours away from eating....nope...it was hard because we were out of food and I had too many things to do to go buy anything. There were four eggs and some cheese so breakfast was good. I also had the last of the trail mix and coffee. Then at the road race I had two bananas... lunch was carrots dipped in almond butter and dinner was sauteed lunch meat and the last pepper...so I managed...I drank alot of water and two protein shakes...(water and powder only...no yummies left to add...) so it was a day that in my old life I would have grabbed chips or raided a vending truck or driven through a fast food restaurant...I can't do that now...and even though I will be able to tomorrow, I know that I won't....
Too many good things have happened to me this month to consider going back...I am done circling the airport...in many ways and areas of my life. I can spend so much time treading water and trying to keep everyone floating that I make no progress in getting to shore...I am done with this way of living. I want to be purposeful and focused. I want to be positive and helpful but not at my own expense. I want to be my best Barb and not a shadow of what I know I can be...completing Grace was big for me... as it would be for anyone doing it for the first time...and I know that re-focusing myself in the gym and adding in the extra behaviors such as daily stretching and mobility work, diet changes and sleep has paid off...this 30 day eating thingy has been wonderful... and I am a different eater today than I was 30 days ago....
I am finishing this blog at 4:45pm on Sunday...this morning when I got up at 5:30 I had MACARONI AND CHEESE...there were left over noodles so I took the deli cheese and broke it up all over them and microwaved that big ole bowl of happiness...then I went get gas and got a Pumpkin Donut, a banana and a LIFE WATER (strawberry dragon fruit)...I also took a small bag of Smartfood Popcorn and ate the trail mix WITHOUT taking out the M&Ms....oh the sheer beauty of it all....my lunch was a giant bowl of chicken salad and dinner will be streak and veggies...ooohhh such a big cheater am I (said in a Yoda voice). SO I am not sure what my blogs will be...I have enjoyed writing about things because it has kept me honest...and hopefully some of you entertained...at any rate...I did it...and a the end of the 30 days it was mac and cheese not diet coke and chips that made me happy....so I got that goin' for me...(said in my best Bill Murray in Caddy Shack voice.)
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