I have written about the many things that this food challenge has brought up for me..and my recent bout of manic and frenzied behavior brought me back (one again) that in many areas of my life the more things change, the more they stay the same. Tuesday was a good day..it was relaxing..my friend lives in a coastal town on the north shore of Boston and running along the ocean was breathtaking. It was a grey day...and with the wind felt like November...there was an expectant feel to the air..that silence of anticipation that only happens during spring and fall. There is an energy to the air that I feel very keenly at this time of year. It isn't always good...fall has been tough for me. I was often sick in the fall as a young asthmatic...the changing air and the moldy leaves...the heat coming on and stirring up dust... and my family was often at it's worst in the fall...at least I remember it this way... and it got dark.... I don't mind the cold and the snow..I just don't like the dark...if the sun set at 7:00pm all winter I would be fine...
So I woke up in the post Pumpkin Beer haze and walked to the 7-11 for a coffee...it was heavenly. I had not prepared any food to bring so I ate cheese and fruit and some carrots. An ample enough breakfast to run three easy miles on...I had a wonderful lunch at a Greek Restaurant of chicken and veggies and really food wasn't too big a deal on this day...but the contemplative time in the car was my digestive time...I sing along to Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift (there...it's been said) and try to figure things out. As far as the food goes...I am still forgetting to eat. So although I am only putting GOOD food into my body...I am still practicing my "oh no I'm late and I need to eat" lifestyle. This really isn't good...this apparent purposeful refusal somewhere in my deep subconscious to take ownership of my diet...food preparation...choices...etc. It make me sigh audibly when I think about it, not because of the subject matter...(food)...but because I can see this pattern in so many places in my life...I am so busy running around with the day to day tasks that I can't get to the important stuff...
Anyway...I am not really sad...this post is a bit depressing upon re-read but I do feel a bit apprehensive and driving home Tuesday afternoon I was in a strange place....not quite happy not quite sad...not quite successful...not quite failing...just in transition....which is exactly what life in New England in the fall is all about...leaves still green and full on some trees, others half bare with their brightly colored remnants clinging desperately in the wind and still others down to the branches. And me...half healthy half not ...circling the airport so to speak on a variety of issues in my life...and as I type this the ring pull ups I did in the gym last night live on in my sore arms....(I did them all by the way..no ring rows for me!!) I have a busy week ahead...and no days off until November...(see there it is again...too busy...like the mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland...so the warm bowl of hamburger and tomatoes and a variety of other veggies made for a cozy dinner and I fell asleep watching NICS....yeah....I do eventually crash...can't circle the airport forever!!!
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