So the "I can't eat anything bad" aspect of the last month of my life has been replaced with the "I don't want to eat anything bad" frame of mind. I ate really well on Sunday considering I had no food in the house and I could cheat and not have to feel badly about it...I mean really, mac and cheese and a pumpkin donut were it...well..and some beer...that is my next challenge...while I like the taste of a good pumpkin beer...(well...any good beer if we are being totally honest here) my body doesn't much like the after effects. Any woman of a certain age knows what I am talking about...unless I consume said beer at 4:00pm and have lots of food and water afterward I am UP ALL NIGHT... I totally get why old people go to restaurants at four o'clock for dinner...I am turning into one...cocktail hour for adults (read anyone over 30) is at 5:00pm...only college students, people in their twenties and people who work late (and thus can sleep late) drink at 10:00pm...nothing good comes of late night drinking....trust me on this one...and although the occasional holiday or celebratory event may include late night drinking, for the most part, it needs to occur early in order for meaningful sleep to take place...(why am I talking about this???) Oh yeah, the next challenge.
So it hasn't been lost on me that it was easier to say no to my daily Honey Bun than it was to say no to an overpriced beer...so my next challenge is to really be in the moment and ever present when I go out to eat. I don't drink at home...too much alcoholism in my family to promote regular use of alcohol as a choice for my daughters. I am pretty open with them around addiction and behaviors that are dangerous for our family. We all have allergies...so alcohol consumption and the prevalence of alcoholism on both sides of the family is an easy conversation to have when framed in the "what runs in our family" conversation. I used this logic with my health students too...rather than lecture them on the evils etc. I turned their attention back to them and their families so that they could make their own assumptions and assertions as to what they might be able to get away with. (So I know...drinking secretly is a tad hypocritical) but I will fall back on the "because I said so" logic of parenting in the 70's. "Do as I say not as I do" (and then do it secretly) seems successful thus far. I'm not teaching anymore so I don't have to address any hypocrisy there...although I got alot more flack from my students over the diet coke can on my desk than I ever did over my lectures on alcohol...funny...
Addiction is a funny thing...in the sense that we all deny it when it applies to us and quickly point it out when we see it in others. Then there are those people who look at your good habits and project their own insecurities on them by turning them into addictions. I get this with Crossfit sometimes, and I always got it from running..."You are obsessed with running".."I can't believe how addicted you are to running", You know you spend a lot of time at Crossfit when you could be doing other things", or my favorite, "Are you sure all this Crossfit is good for you?" No...I'm clueless... so that's why I go every day and work my butt off in the gym....duh...
There are people who worried about me because I was following a food challenge...and my blogs about it generated provocative conversations...human behavior is personal and emotional...what we look like, how fit we are or are not, what we eat...all of these things can be used to judge us...(and I find that people are their own worst critics) but I will say this...it does take a rather compulsive (or maybe obsessive, and perhaps somewhat of an addictive) personality to achieve greatness at anything. Yo Yo Ma is a gifted cellist...but he has to practice hours and hours a day to be as great as he is.
I was a good runner immediately...6th in New England after just 10 weeks on the track team... but I also worked really hard at practice...and trained like a fiend for all of the years I was a competitive runner. My athletic experiences, and my coaching experiences have helped me tremendously in life. Distance runners learn to live with pain...a 5K race isn't excruciating from start to finish...the early miles are okay if they are paced properly...but it is quite difficult at two miles to keep going...there is alot of self talk...running hurts...and the difference between the winner and the runner-up is typically which one can tolerate the pain best...this training has helped me deal with losing my job and it has helped me excel in the gym. I know how to hurt. As a survivor of child abuse I also know how to separate myself emotionally and mentally from my body. I am never surprised when I read a biography about a famous athlete and discover that they were abused, or neglected or suffered great tragedies as a child...we learn from our struggles...our addictions...our responses to life events.... we compartmentalize our lives and carry on...
I learned a ton from my eating challenge...so I will continue on with it...and it has inspired me to reflect a bit more deeply into other areas of my life that need attention...I can't say that it will be easy, or always fun, but it will be provocative and challenging...one day at a time:)
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 30.....I DID IT!!!!
Today was the most difficult day of the 30 days...not because I was craving anything...not because I was busy...and not because I was at a Halloween Party surrounded by amazing treats that i was just hours away from eating....nope...it was hard because we were out of food and I had too many things to do to go buy anything. There were four eggs and some cheese so breakfast was good. I also had the last of the trail mix and coffee. Then at the road race I had two bananas... lunch was carrots dipped in almond butter and dinner was sauteed lunch meat and the last pepper...so I managed...I drank alot of water and two protein shakes...(water and powder only...no yummies left to add...) so it was a day that in my old life I would have grabbed chips or raided a vending truck or driven through a fast food restaurant...I can't do that now...and even though I will be able to tomorrow, I know that I won't....
Too many good things have happened to me this month to consider going back...I am done circling the airport...in many ways and areas of my life. I can spend so much time treading water and trying to keep everyone floating that I make no progress in getting to shore...I am done with this way of living. I want to be purposeful and focused. I want to be positive and helpful but not at my own expense. I want to be my best Barb and not a shadow of what I know I can be...completing Grace was big for me... as it would be for anyone doing it for the first time...and I know that re-focusing myself in the gym and adding in the extra behaviors such as daily stretching and mobility work, diet changes and sleep has paid off...this 30 day eating thingy has been wonderful... and I am a different eater today than I was 30 days ago....
I am finishing this blog at 4:45pm on Sunday...this morning when I got up at 5:30 I had MACARONI AND CHEESE...there were left over noodles so I took the deli cheese and broke it up all over them and microwaved that big ole bowl of happiness...then I went get gas and got a Pumpkin Donut, a banana and a LIFE WATER (strawberry dragon fruit)...I also took a small bag of Smartfood Popcorn and ate the trail mix WITHOUT taking out the M&Ms....oh the sheer beauty of it all....my lunch was a giant bowl of chicken salad and dinner will be streak and veggies...ooohhh such a big cheater am I (said in a Yoda voice). SO I am not sure what my blogs will be...I have enjoyed writing about things because it has kept me honest...and hopefully some of you entertained...at any rate...I did it...and a the end of the 30 days it was mac and cheese not diet coke and chips that made me happy....so I got that goin' for me...(said in my best Bill Murray in Caddy Shack voice.)
Too many good things have happened to me this month to consider going back...I am done circling the airport...in many ways and areas of my life. I can spend so much time treading water and trying to keep everyone floating that I make no progress in getting to shore...I am done with this way of living. I want to be purposeful and focused. I want to be positive and helpful but not at my own expense. I want to be my best Barb and not a shadow of what I know I can be...completing Grace was big for me... as it would be for anyone doing it for the first time...and I know that re-focusing myself in the gym and adding in the extra behaviors such as daily stretching and mobility work, diet changes and sleep has paid off...this 30 day eating thingy has been wonderful... and I am a different eater today than I was 30 days ago....
I am finishing this blog at 4:45pm on Sunday...this morning when I got up at 5:30 I had MACARONI AND CHEESE...there were left over noodles so I took the deli cheese and broke it up all over them and microwaved that big ole bowl of happiness...then I went get gas and got a Pumpkin Donut, a banana and a LIFE WATER (strawberry dragon fruit)...I also took a small bag of Smartfood Popcorn and ate the trail mix WITHOUT taking out the M&Ms....oh the sheer beauty of it all....my lunch was a giant bowl of chicken salad and dinner will be streak and veggies...ooohhh such a big cheater am I (said in a Yoda voice). SO I am not sure what my blogs will be...I have enjoyed writing about things because it has kept me honest...and hopefully some of you entertained...at any rate...I did it...and a the end of the 30 days it was mac and cheese not diet coke and chips that made me happy....so I got that goin' for me...(said in my best Bill Murray in Caddy Shack voice.)
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 29...G.R.A.C.E.
I woke up jittery..but ate my omelet and got the girls off to school. I went to The Mount for my usual 8:00am workout. On Friday's we squat....and I wanted to see if I could maintain my depth to parallel at heavier than 155....I was doing barbells4boobs later on and even though Grace is a tough workout I didn't want to let my routine fall by the wayside...I ended up squatting 5 reps at 165 with good depth...I then spent 30 minutes on mobility and went home.
I have had this goal...RXing "Grace"...a workout where you clean and jerk 95 pounds 30 times for time. I am not concerned with the time...I want to lift that 95 pound bar over my head 30 times....so I have been jittery for a month and today I felt like I used to feel before races. I ate some bananas, I had veggies, I drank a protein shake...I accomplished a bunch of school work...it was a good morning... but I was anxious and nervous...at 12:45 I strapped on my new pink sports top, my Barbells4Boobs tee-shirt and got my ass on down to White Mountain Crossfit. Robyn, Regina and Miss Joan were already there...they were doing it with me. The actual formal fundraiser is tomorrow...but per usual I have to time a race...once Robyn knew I couldn't go on Saturday she immediately offered to do it with me on Friday. That's the kind of friend she is...Miss Joan (Dance teacher...can't drop the Miss) and Regina (my other new bff) Robyn and I all put on pink ribbon tattoos and pink football paint beneath our eyes...bring it on.
I remember it now, hours after Jon's "3-2-1 Go!!" as a bit chaotic in my mind. I kept telling myself to relax...I tried to remember all of the little hints and cues we learn to maintain proper technique...I knew, after the first three, that I would get to 30...I also knew that it would take me a long time. The clean part of the lift felt really good. I was able to jump the off my hips and get under it...the jerk part of it eluded me somewhat and I remember thinking "holy crap I'm push pressing this...." A push press takes alot more arm work than a jerk...but I was way too scattered to figure it out. I was at 16 reps when I had to stop and walk away from the bar because I couldn't straighten out my arms...I had to re-try three times during the workout. (I didn't care. another three opportunities to have performed a clean...) I was pretty close to Robyn for a while...maybe 4 reps behind...but those last 5 took me long time...everyone else was done and in typical usual "this is how we do" Crossfit style everyone gathered around to cheer me through the last ones... I had to take a re-try on my 30th rep...couldn't straighten out my arms...but I did it...I got to 30, in 7:49...I had RX'd Grace...and then I cried...I wasn't going to share that part...later on in the Day Miss Joan asked Robyn if I was okay...she thought maybe I was hurt...you know physically hurt... but what Miss Joan doesn't know...and actually what most people in my life don't know is that in the days and weeks after I lost my job I couldn't leave the house without tremendous panic and anxiety. I needed and wanted to workout. I used to run one time around White's Park and call it a day not because I was tired but because running reminded me of coaching which reminded me of all I had lost. It made me so sad that I would cry...right there...as I ran around the park. I went to the Y and would piece together workouts there and that was a bit better, but I couldn't;t keep it up...
Finding Crossfit and having immediate (6 weeks of three times a week=20pounds and 11 inches lost) results was a life changer. I read the testimonials and many people in this amazing community have much more compelling stories than mine, but our pain is ours and how we deal with it through Crossfit is incredibly unique and similar all at the same time. I have cried about accomplishment before at Crossfit but it has been very private...as much as I can high jack a work out and make Jon use his Dad voice to quiet me down there are layers to me that are finally peeling away. This Grace experience was very public and I didn't want to fail. As an athlete I knew that I could do it, and I know Jon wouldn't have let me attempt it if he didn't think I could do it as well... but still...it is way outside my comfort zone...
Robyn was done her 30 days on Thursday so she and Miss Joan went out for Macaroni and Cheese. I have another day yet...so I went home to a protein shake and sauteed veggies and meat...today was a good day...and Grace will always be one of my favorite benchmark workouts...for a hundred million reasons...but mostly because it scared the hell out of me and I did it anyway....
I have had this goal...RXing "Grace"...a workout where you clean and jerk 95 pounds 30 times for time. I am not concerned with the time...I want to lift that 95 pound bar over my head 30 times....so I have been jittery for a month and today I felt like I used to feel before races. I ate some bananas, I had veggies, I drank a protein shake...I accomplished a bunch of school work...it was a good morning... but I was anxious and nervous...at 12:45 I strapped on my new pink sports top, my Barbells4Boobs tee-shirt and got my ass on down to White Mountain Crossfit. Robyn, Regina and Miss Joan were already there...they were doing it with me. The actual formal fundraiser is tomorrow...but per usual I have to time a race...once Robyn knew I couldn't go on Saturday she immediately offered to do it with me on Friday. That's the kind of friend she is...Miss Joan (Dance teacher...can't drop the Miss) and Regina (my other new bff) Robyn and I all put on pink ribbon tattoos and pink football paint beneath our eyes...bring it on.
I remember it now, hours after Jon's "3-2-1 Go!!" as a bit chaotic in my mind. I kept telling myself to relax...I tried to remember all of the little hints and cues we learn to maintain proper technique...I knew, after the first three, that I would get to 30...I also knew that it would take me a long time. The clean part of the lift felt really good. I was able to jump the off my hips and get under it...the jerk part of it eluded me somewhat and I remember thinking "holy crap I'm push pressing this...." A push press takes alot more arm work than a jerk...but I was way too scattered to figure it out. I was at 16 reps when I had to stop and walk away from the bar because I couldn't straighten out my arms...I had to re-try three times during the workout. (I didn't care. another three opportunities to have performed a clean...) I was pretty close to Robyn for a while...maybe 4 reps behind...but those last 5 took me long time...everyone else was done and in typical usual "this is how we do" Crossfit style everyone gathered around to cheer me through the last ones... I had to take a re-try on my 30th rep...couldn't straighten out my arms...but I did it...I got to 30, in 7:49...I had RX'd Grace...and then I cried...I wasn't going to share that part...later on in the Day Miss Joan asked Robyn if I was okay...she thought maybe I was hurt...you know physically hurt... but what Miss Joan doesn't know...and actually what most people in my life don't know is that in the days and weeks after I lost my job I couldn't leave the house without tremendous panic and anxiety. I needed and wanted to workout. I used to run one time around White's Park and call it a day not because I was tired but because running reminded me of coaching which reminded me of all I had lost. It made me so sad that I would cry...right there...as I ran around the park. I went to the Y and would piece together workouts there and that was a bit better, but I couldn't;t keep it up...
Finding Crossfit and having immediate (6 weeks of three times a week=20pounds and 11 inches lost) results was a life changer. I read the testimonials and many people in this amazing community have much more compelling stories than mine, but our pain is ours and how we deal with it through Crossfit is incredibly unique and similar all at the same time. I have cried about accomplishment before at Crossfit but it has been very private...as much as I can high jack a work out and make Jon use his Dad voice to quiet me down there are layers to me that are finally peeling away. This Grace experience was very public and I didn't want to fail. As an athlete I knew that I could do it, and I know Jon wouldn't have let me attempt it if he didn't think I could do it as well... but still...it is way outside my comfort zone...
Robyn was done her 30 days on Thursday so she and Miss Joan went out for Macaroni and Cheese. I have another day yet...so I went home to a protein shake and sauteed veggies and meat...today was a good day...and Grace will always be one of my favorite benchmark workouts...for a hundred million reasons...but mostly because it scared the hell out of me and I did it anyway....
Friday, October 26, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 28 You scratch my backI'll scratch yours
So there is this great thing about Crossfit. Not everyone is good at everything...(this even includes Chandler Pellock who is pretty darned close to perfect!) Some of us are good at the cardio stuff(me) others are good at the lifting stuff (Robyn) still others have amazing technique (Jen B.)...we all balance each other out. Today Allison and I were workout buddies. She has been battling a cold and I have been battling with, well, myself...and we were working on a 5 rep max for bench. I got all cocky on myself and thought I could get 95 since that is my 2 rep max. I was very wrong...Allison, on the other hand schooled me and got 105...now don't misunderstand...I am wicked happy for Allison...she works very hard...and has very strong arms. This is a lift that she excels at and I...do not, so my 85 pounds would have to suffice...(weak triceps Babs)...says Jon and I believe him because I now believe everything he says...
The Conditioning Workout was completely suited to my strengths, 500M row, followed by 20 goblet squats, then 20 kettle bell swings (35lbs) then a 400M run...THREE TIMES. Alison was struggling on the very first row. So Benny and Chandler and I did what any good Crossfitters would do...we encouraged her...we told her to keep it up...we cheered her on in the rowing...and when we were all done and Allison still had to run her last 400, I went out and ran I with her... it's what we do.
We are also very hard on ourselves...I know that Allison can feel intimidated by athletes like Chandler (and maybe even me a little) because we look all muscular etc. but what Allison and other Crossfitters like her don't realise is that they are incredibly inspiring to us. Running is my gift...my talent...I didn't have to try hard to be good at it...I worked very hard to get a college scholarship and my workouts were very painful...but average runners should not compare themselves to me...and I am not a better athlete or more important in the gym simply because I am good at this. I struggle too and I would want my struggles to be as inspiring to the newbies as their struggling is to me. Allison has strengths in the gym that I don't have...I look to her for encouragement and reinforcement... and...her bench press 5 rep max is better than mine...
I had another breakthrough today...I actually cooked...(as in used the stove) three times today making myself tasty meals with veggies and meat...I have been cooking alot of meat ahead of time and then gnawing on it cold through out the day...but today...three hot meals....I just might master this food thing after all...I need support though...maybe I'll ask Allison:)
The Conditioning Workout was completely suited to my strengths, 500M row, followed by 20 goblet squats, then 20 kettle bell swings (35lbs) then a 400M run...THREE TIMES. Alison was struggling on the very first row. So Benny and Chandler and I did what any good Crossfitters would do...we encouraged her...we told her to keep it up...we cheered her on in the rowing...and when we were all done and Allison still had to run her last 400, I went out and ran I with her... it's what we do.
We are also very hard on ourselves...I know that Allison can feel intimidated by athletes like Chandler (and maybe even me a little) because we look all muscular etc. but what Allison and other Crossfitters like her don't realise is that they are incredibly inspiring to us. Running is my gift...my talent...I didn't have to try hard to be good at it...I worked very hard to get a college scholarship and my workouts were very painful...but average runners should not compare themselves to me...and I am not a better athlete or more important in the gym simply because I am good at this. I struggle too and I would want my struggles to be as inspiring to the newbies as their struggling is to me. Allison has strengths in the gym that I don't have...I look to her for encouragement and reinforcement... and...her bench press 5 rep max is better than mine...
I had another breakthrough today...I actually cooked...(as in used the stove) three times today making myself tasty meals with veggies and meat...I have been cooking alot of meat ahead of time and then gnawing on it cold through out the day...but today...three hot meals....I just might master this food thing after all...I need support though...maybe I'll ask Allison:)
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 27 Raw Fish!!!
So I have this friend. He is a very good friend and although we do not see each other much he has been an incredible support for me during my recent life trauma...from moral support to ideas and suggestions to an occasional ass kicking we all need people in our life like this person... We spent some time together Wednesday catching up and sharing the details of our lives and he suggested that we have Sushi for lunch...I have never had sushi...well not real sushi anyway..I have had fake sushi made with things other than seaweed and raw fish...but today I went for it. IT.WAS.AWESOME.
My taste for fish and meat was tarnished by two pregnancies. I could not eat meat or fish wen I was pregnant and my taste for them has been slow to come back...so yeah...a Paleo Diet has taken a long time for me to buy into...but buy into it I have...and as I have gone through the process of giving myself over to it I have realised that chicken and beef are going to get real old real fast...so these lie seaweed rolled fish yummies, along with some fearsome slabs of raw fish have opened up a whole new option for me...and the health benefits are, well, obvious. I was full but not stuffed, I felt nourished for the remainder of the afternoon...the hot tea was a treat that I foolishly don't give myself enough and of course the company was superb...raw fish...me...who knew.
I am not afraid of trying new things...and I love adventure...so many of my little quirks in the gym, in my family life, in my professional life, in my social life, and in my eating life don't always match my fearsome self... I have no trouble jumping off an abandoned railroad trestle into the murky waters of a river but won't eat raw fish...this makes no sense...but it is me...and all I can do is analyse and act....
I had a great workout today...I finally surpassed the 200 pound mark and did 5 reps of the dead lift at 205 pounds....I am really proud of this accomplishment...my lack of flexibility kept me doing Romanian Dead lifts for the first 8 months I was at WMCF, when I went to the traditional style of dead lift I backed my weight down from 185 to 155. I do not want to be hurt..I have taken my time coming up but this was a big PR...20 pounds!!! I have a whole new love for those Planet Fitness commercials now..."I pick things up and put them down" no longer makes me laugh at the big ole neanderthal actor they having uttering these words...I have become that neanderthal...and I have done so happily....so bring on the raw fish, bring on the weight, and bring on all of the life decisions I have awaiting me....I am strong enough to do it all...
My taste for fish and meat was tarnished by two pregnancies. I could not eat meat or fish wen I was pregnant and my taste for them has been slow to come back...so yeah...a Paleo Diet has taken a long time for me to buy into...but buy into it I have...and as I have gone through the process of giving myself over to it I have realised that chicken and beef are going to get real old real fast...so these lie seaweed rolled fish yummies, along with some fearsome slabs of raw fish have opened up a whole new option for me...and the health benefits are, well, obvious. I was full but not stuffed, I felt nourished for the remainder of the afternoon...the hot tea was a treat that I foolishly don't give myself enough and of course the company was superb...raw fish...me...who knew.
I am not afraid of trying new things...and I love adventure...so many of my little quirks in the gym, in my family life, in my professional life, in my social life, and in my eating life don't always match my fearsome self... I have no trouble jumping off an abandoned railroad trestle into the murky waters of a river but won't eat raw fish...this makes no sense...but it is me...and all I can do is analyse and act....
I had a great workout today...I finally surpassed the 200 pound mark and did 5 reps of the dead lift at 205 pounds....I am really proud of this accomplishment...my lack of flexibility kept me doing Romanian Dead lifts for the first 8 months I was at WMCF, when I went to the traditional style of dead lift I backed my weight down from 185 to 155. I do not want to be hurt..I have taken my time coming up but this was a big PR...20 pounds!!! I have a whole new love for those Planet Fitness commercials now..."I pick things up and put them down" no longer makes me laugh at the big ole neanderthal actor they having uttering these words...I have become that neanderthal...and I have done so happily....so bring on the raw fish, bring on the weight, and bring on all of the life decisions I have awaiting me....I am strong enough to do it all...
30 for 30 Food Fest 2012...When did you learn to squat?
Best.Day.Ever. Well..in the gym anyway...we were working up to a front squat max for 5 reps. I have strong legs and have always been a pretty good squatter...strength wise anyway...flexibility and mobility allude me and even with lots of stretching and tennis ball therapy I am still wound up like a top ready to explode like a whirling dervish at any moment. You can strum my scalenes like a harp.
So the front squats. We did a "death by' workout some months back...(maybe March) where we had to do front squats on the minute. I had made good progress in the gym but had never done this lift. When I attempted to pick up the bar and hold it properly in front of me on a "shelf'" created by thrusting my elbows up I completely failed. I could not hold that bar up. I ended up having to modify the lift, crossing my arms and holding it like an old lady...(no pointing out the obvious here...I know how old I am). I had NO mobility in my shoulders and could not do this lift. I completed the work out using a 35 pound bar...not my best day...I am still at this place with the overhead squat...my shoulders hold me back....BUT....TODAY....for reasons unknown to me I had a 30 pound PR on the front squat. Some weeks ago I was encouraged (read...Babs you WILL...) to cut back on my weight in the back squat and concentrate on depth. It has made a big difference. I am starting to feel the lift and how my body really is designed for these deep squats..when I am squatting I stop at the point I can't make it to parallel...so the front squat...it was one of those times where all the planets line up and crazy good stuff happens...my prior PR was 115 done roughly 6 weeks ago. Today I passed that by and did 145... then we took 80% of that weight and did max reps...so there I was, squatting away at 115 (my former PR) for a max of 19 squats...seriously...I was stoked...Brad was watching and he got all pumped too..."Damn" he said, "when did you learn to squat!" I love these compliments...I am a bit insecure sometimes, I also get a lot of critique from the boys at the mount...(which I love because it makes me better) but Brad getting excited about it made me excited about it....these little moments of exultation over the improvement of someone in the gym...I killed the WOD...dumbbell push up/rows, dumbbell rows, and sit ups...and the 500M time trial on the rower...a four second PR for me here...
Not all days are like this...yesterday I left the gym despondent...today my feel floated across the pavement as I ran home...(no car, long story)... I know that perhaps this day would have happened on my own eating plan...but I feel like the food piece has been a major part of my improvement...at any rate...yay me!!!
So the front squats. We did a "death by' workout some months back...(maybe March) where we had to do front squats on the minute. I had made good progress in the gym but had never done this lift. When I attempted to pick up the bar and hold it properly in front of me on a "shelf'" created by thrusting my elbows up I completely failed. I could not hold that bar up. I ended up having to modify the lift, crossing my arms and holding it like an old lady...(no pointing out the obvious here...I know how old I am). I had NO mobility in my shoulders and could not do this lift. I completed the work out using a 35 pound bar...not my best day...I am still at this place with the overhead squat...my shoulders hold me back....BUT....TODAY....for reasons unknown to me I had a 30 pound PR on the front squat. Some weeks ago I was encouraged (read...Babs you WILL...) to cut back on my weight in the back squat and concentrate on depth. It has made a big difference. I am starting to feel the lift and how my body really is designed for these deep squats..when I am squatting I stop at the point I can't make it to parallel...so the front squat...it was one of those times where all the planets line up and crazy good stuff happens...my prior PR was 115 done roughly 6 weeks ago. Today I passed that by and did 145... then we took 80% of that weight and did max reps...so there I was, squatting away at 115 (my former PR) for a max of 19 squats...seriously...I was stoked...Brad was watching and he got all pumped too..."Damn" he said, "when did you learn to squat!" I love these compliments...I am a bit insecure sometimes, I also get a lot of critique from the boys at the mount...(which I love because it makes me better) but Brad getting excited about it made me excited about it....these little moments of exultation over the improvement of someone in the gym...I killed the WOD...dumbbell push up/rows, dumbbell rows, and sit ups...and the 500M time trial on the rower...a four second PR for me here...
Not all days are like this...yesterday I left the gym despondent...today my feel floated across the pavement as I ran home...(no car, long story)... I know that perhaps this day would have happened on my own eating plan...but I feel like the food piece has been a major part of my improvement...at any rate...yay me!!!
WMCF 30 for 30 the final stretch Day 25
So this marks the final Monday of my challenge...I am both relieved and saddened at the same time. There are many ways that I am incredibly internally motivated. I do not need prodding to go to Crossfit, I love it....I go running on my off days because I love it...I fall asleep early because I love it...(well that and I am old and tired by 9:00pm). Food, preparing it and eating it correctly...making good choices etc. has always required EXternal motivation. In college the dining hall was AWESOME! I made really good choices...(as well as a number of bad ones) but every meal consisted of a salad and a hot main course, I ate fruit...I also ate dessert... but there were so many healthy things to eat that I was very well nourished. When I moved off campus and had to cook for myself it all fell apart...canned ravioli replaced breaded haddock, cheerios replaced eggs and bacon...I really didn't eat well on my own.
Taking part in this challenge and blogging about it has kept me honest....I really don't want to have to share that I ate something I had committed to avoiding...and thus far my biggest discretion has been that evil Pumpkin Head Draught Beer....(evil evil lovely Pumpkin Head)...so I worry a bit how I will behave once I am not beholden to this diet...I know that I will stick to it...I feel too good....AND...I am performing like a mad woman in the gym.
Today we did out maximum weight for five rounds for the over head press. This has been a tough one for me...although I can do pull ups now...pushing that bar over my head with more than 65 pounds on it has eluded me since joining WMCF. So today...I did 5 at 75!!!! I was pretty excited....so excited that I pushed 80 pounds up over my head (only once, but still) ...this is a big PR for me and did alot for my confidence..until the WOD that is...we were doing 4 rounds of clean and jerk separated by a 400M run. I should have put 95 pounds on that sucker...but I chicken out and only lifted 75...until Tom snuck an extra 5 pounds on after my second round...when I came in after my last round he had added 5 more...so I did 5 more reps...and it was fine...so I walked to Alaka's bar which weighed 95 pounds and did 5 more... yeah...I should have done the workout as prescribed and not been a baby about it... this was a good lesson for me...most of my workout buddies assume I am chasing a fast time in the WOD's but really...lifting weight over my head scares me...so i hold back... and I guess committing to an eating plan scares me as well...and so I hold back...but I am so much stronger than I was four weeks ago that I am wondering if all those crazy paleo people are right....(God help me if I have to get a big old Paleo "I told you so") but I think it is coming....it could be coincidence, it could be that sticking to the eating plan is giving me confidence which allows me to take bigger chances in the gym, who knows...but I do know that not unique in my transformation...let them eat meat!!!!
Taking part in this challenge and blogging about it has kept me honest....I really don't want to have to share that I ate something I had committed to avoiding...and thus far my biggest discretion has been that evil Pumpkin Head Draught Beer....(evil evil lovely Pumpkin Head)...so I worry a bit how I will behave once I am not beholden to this diet...I know that I will stick to it...I feel too good....AND...I am performing like a mad woman in the gym.
Today we did out maximum weight for five rounds for the over head press. This has been a tough one for me...although I can do pull ups now...pushing that bar over my head with more than 65 pounds on it has eluded me since joining WMCF. So today...I did 5 at 75!!!! I was pretty excited....so excited that I pushed 80 pounds up over my head (only once, but still) ...this is a big PR for me and did alot for my confidence..until the WOD that is...we were doing 4 rounds of clean and jerk separated by a 400M run. I should have put 95 pounds on that sucker...but I chicken out and only lifted 75...until Tom snuck an extra 5 pounds on after my second round...when I came in after my last round he had added 5 more...so I did 5 more reps...and it was fine...so I walked to Alaka's bar which weighed 95 pounds and did 5 more... yeah...I should have done the workout as prescribed and not been a baby about it... this was a good lesson for me...most of my workout buddies assume I am chasing a fast time in the WOD's but really...lifting weight over my head scares me...so i hold back... and I guess committing to an eating plan scares me as well...and so I hold back...but I am so much stronger than I was four weeks ago that I am wondering if all those crazy paleo people are right....(God help me if I have to get a big old Paleo "I told you so") but I think it is coming....it could be coincidence, it could be that sticking to the eating plan is giving me confidence which allows me to take bigger chances in the gym, who knows...but I do know that not unique in my transformation...let them eat meat!!!!
Monday, October 22, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 24...Same Ole Same Ole Day 24
My weekend days have become a bit predictable...I sleep fitfully knowing that I will have to rise in the dark...make a big breakfast...eat said breakfast and then drive to a place I have never been, meet people I have never met and time their event for them...so my cheese and salsa omelet, nuts, fruit, protein shake, grapes, cheese and pot of coffee don't really merit a blog entry....booorrrriinnggggggg.. I feel so much better on this diet...and although I have followed healthy diets before and felt better it is often difficult to stick to them...
This is what I like about the how my fellow crossfitters live...most of them follow a paleo based diet...lots of protein for building muscle..lots of veggies and nuts and sweet potatoes and avocados and then some fruit and for some people dairy and grains....it all depends...peoples bodies are different and their nutritional needs are different...here is another thing I like about how my fellow crossfitters and the way they eat...they are flexible...there is a built in cheat day...where you can eat pretty much whatever you want...anyone can follow a good meal plan for 6 days...and on the seventh day...there is pasta....and nachos...and Skittles...what ever it is...you can have it...guilt free...
During my first week I dreamed about all the diet coke and honey buns I would consume... my second week it was all about the bowl of cereal before bed...and the Klondike Bar...and then the third week it was BREAD of all kinds...BREAD BREAD BREAD....(OK and crackers and maybe chips)...and now I don't know...I mean I will definitely be re-living some of my favorite tastes...but I really don't think I can go back to how I used to eat....I think I know what it is like to do a 30 day stint in rehab...and I have already compared this to 30 meetings in 30 days from my AA days...there is something just right about a month...it is long enough to address both the habit and the addiction but short enough to feel doable at the beginning....
My daughter Molly likes sweet potatoes now, Gracie has tried meatloaf and pork...we are all watching our sugar....well I am watching their sugar...mine doesn't exist...so regardless of the details of the days for me...this challenge is already a success....(this is me floating to the finish line believing I have won the race....) I am smart enough to know that someone could sneak up and nip me at the finish... but I don't think so...I am having too much fun:)
This is what I like about the how my fellow crossfitters live...most of them follow a paleo based diet...lots of protein for building muscle..lots of veggies and nuts and sweet potatoes and avocados and then some fruit and for some people dairy and grains....it all depends...peoples bodies are different and their nutritional needs are different...here is another thing I like about how my fellow crossfitters and the way they eat...they are flexible...there is a built in cheat day...where you can eat pretty much whatever you want...anyone can follow a good meal plan for 6 days...and on the seventh day...there is pasta....and nachos...and Skittles...what ever it is...you can have it...guilt free...
During my first week I dreamed about all the diet coke and honey buns I would consume... my second week it was all about the bowl of cereal before bed...and the Klondike Bar...and then the third week it was BREAD of all kinds...BREAD BREAD BREAD....(OK and crackers and maybe chips)...and now I don't know...I mean I will definitely be re-living some of my favorite tastes...but I really don't think I can go back to how I used to eat....I think I know what it is like to do a 30 day stint in rehab...and I have already compared this to 30 meetings in 30 days from my AA days...there is something just right about a month...it is long enough to address both the habit and the addiction but short enough to feel doable at the beginning....
My daughter Molly likes sweet potatoes now, Gracie has tried meatloaf and pork...we are all watching our sugar....well I am watching their sugar...mine doesn't exist...so regardless of the details of the days for me...this challenge is already a success....(this is me floating to the finish line believing I have won the race....) I am smart enough to know that someone could sneak up and nip me at the finish... but I don't think so...I am having too much fun:)
Sunday, October 21, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 "I'm not Stupid!":) Day 23
Today was awesome! I typically time races on Saturdays and so miss out on many races and Crossfit events. I had been planning on running a 5K at Derryfield Park...I love that course...and a 5K time there would be meaningful because I would have a frame of reference for it...but Jon Farwell and the mighty fine folks at White Mountain Crossfit were putting on a "clean clinic". I had to go...
When I tell "boot camp" people that I do Crossfit I often get a negative response...while none of the boot camp instructors/participants/enthusiasts who give me this response have ever actually done Crossfit they are quick to say that "Crossfit doesn't teach technique". This really bothers me... we spend a great deal of time at WMCF getting time to practice technique...in fact if we are in the lifting part of the day we are typically getting constant correction regarding our form and technique...these rash judgements bother me....so when I left The Mount today after a TWO HOUR clinic on proper clean technique I thought Bah! to the naysayers... I had the best time...EVER!!!
I am really solid on the conditioning aspects of Crossfit and although I am fairly strong and have pretty decent PR's for my lifts I am not comfortable as weight lifter yet. I have mentioned before that when I do a lift correctly and the bar seems to float into the air I feel an incredible rush...I love the feeling of the clean and jerk and I love the feeling of the snatch....there is something so empowering about taking a really heavy object from the ground and bringing it over your head... it is awesome.
Before the clinic I had done "Grace" (30 clean and jerks for time) at 75 pounds...it took me 5:55 to do this. My goal has been to RX the workout for our upcoming Barbells for Boobs Fundraiser. That would be 95 pounds. My three rep PR for a jerk is 95 pounds...and today I cleaned 105 pounds twice... so I am thinking that I may need to re think the 95 pound goal and look to improve my time with 85 pounds..it will still be progress and although part of me feels like I am letting myself down, I also know that injury and improper technique are not the point of the workout...as I told Brad, "I'm not stupid!"
I think knowing ones strengths and limitations is an important part of athletics...I will decide what weight to try on Friday when Robyn, Ashling and I do the work out...(we can't go on Saturday, Robyn and I both have to work...and Ashling is just a great pal who is going to do it with us because she can:)
So today was great...the girls and I decorated for Halloween, I ate well but not enough....and tomorrow I will be back on the race timing circuit with a gig in my old stomping grounds of Brighton MA...life is good...and while I may not be a rocket scientist, or the easiest athlete to coach...I am most definitely not stupid....I am strong... can pick 105 pounds up off the floor, get under it into a front squat and stand that sucker up...yeah...I can:)
When I tell "boot camp" people that I do Crossfit I often get a negative response...while none of the boot camp instructors/participants/enthusiasts who give me this response have ever actually done Crossfit they are quick to say that "Crossfit doesn't teach technique". This really bothers me... we spend a great deal of time at WMCF getting time to practice technique...in fact if we are in the lifting part of the day we are typically getting constant correction regarding our form and technique...these rash judgements bother me....so when I left The Mount today after a TWO HOUR clinic on proper clean technique I thought Bah! to the naysayers... I had the best time...EVER!!!
I am really solid on the conditioning aspects of Crossfit and although I am fairly strong and have pretty decent PR's for my lifts I am not comfortable as weight lifter yet. I have mentioned before that when I do a lift correctly and the bar seems to float into the air I feel an incredible rush...I love the feeling of the clean and jerk and I love the feeling of the snatch....there is something so empowering about taking a really heavy object from the ground and bringing it over your head... it is awesome.
Before the clinic I had done "Grace" (30 clean and jerks for time) at 75 pounds...it took me 5:55 to do this. My goal has been to RX the workout for our upcoming Barbells for Boobs Fundraiser. That would be 95 pounds. My three rep PR for a jerk is 95 pounds...and today I cleaned 105 pounds twice... so I am thinking that I may need to re think the 95 pound goal and look to improve my time with 85 pounds..it will still be progress and although part of me feels like I am letting myself down, I also know that injury and improper technique are not the point of the workout...as I told Brad, "I'm not stupid!"
I think knowing ones strengths and limitations is an important part of athletics...I will decide what weight to try on Friday when Robyn, Ashling and I do the work out...(we can't go on Saturday, Robyn and I both have to work...and Ashling is just a great pal who is going to do it with us because she can:)
So today was great...the girls and I decorated for Halloween, I ate well but not enough....and tomorrow I will be back on the race timing circuit with a gig in my old stomping grounds of Brighton MA...life is good...and while I may not be a rocket scientist, or the easiest athlete to coach...I am most definitely not stupid....I am strong... can pick 105 pounds up off the floor, get under it into a front squat and stand that sucker up...yeah...I can:)
Saturday, October 20, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 22 CHS X-C
I timed the Capital Area Cross-Country Championships today...this was bitter sweet in many ways... I won this race 32 years ago...my sister won it 26 years ago...I coached several individual champions and won several team titles as a coach...if my life had played out the way I thought it would I would have been there as a coachtoday and not as the race timer...but I have learned that life is unpredictable and people...even the ones you love and trust the most are not who they appear to be...so today was tough... and wonderful as well.
It rained and then it stopped...and then it rained...and then it stopped...if my mood could be characterized by weather then this was perfect. John Goegel...the founder of this meet greeted me at the track with a hug and genuine concern about my well being...he is a good man...and he knows that what happened to me was bad...wrong and bad...but like me...he is a consummate student of the universe. In his first year of retirement he has built a replica of Thoreau's Cabin behind his house... I love this guy!!! I met Mr. Irving...a white bearded man with a leather hat who knew me from "all the newspaper stuff" he had read. At the end of the night he told me that he understood how I felt...and that I was indeed blessed to have the chance to know who my real friends are and who they aren't. I have had many surprises over the past two years in this regard. I have neighbors who will not look me in the eye...and people who hardly knew me bring me into their lives and love me unconditionally. Most of us go through life thinking we know who are friends are...sometimes it takes a situation like mine with the school district to show us the truth....so I am blessed...
Concord runners won both the girls and the boys races.... and the Concord girls took home the team title...as they should have...last year they didn't even go...which was a major embarrassment to Concord High.This meet is one of the oldest running meets in NH and was started with just four teams, Concord, Brady, Merrimack Valley and Pembroke Academy...for the Tide to no show was a major snub... I am glad that they showed up this year...
I saw coaches, former athletes, former colleagues, parents....they were all there...I delivered a quality event...I care about that...the people who know me know.....they just know.... those who shy away are swayed by false accusations and anonymous public opinion....they say a lie takes just a moment to become true while the truth is lacing up it's shoes one mile behind...I live this reality every day of my life...
My eating as fine...I am really quite content foraging as my cave men and women ancestors did for fruit, nuts, and vegetables while the men hunt (or in my case grill) the meat. I have crossed over, I am no longer trying to count down the days...I have become this new me...and while I miss the pasta, and while I cringe when former athletes are afraid to say hi to me and current CHS coaches drop their eyes I know...with every thread of my being who I am ...and those who took part in what happened to me know who I am as well... and you see, they are still eating the Honey Buns and drinking the soda, fooling themselves into believing that their actions were and are okay...I, Barbara Higgins...am fine...and although tears stream down my cheeks as I type....and the loss of what I love still brings me to my knees...I...AM...FINE....I am the karma nudger...I am me...Just Barb
It rained and then it stopped...and then it rained...and then it stopped...if my mood could be characterized by weather then this was perfect. John Goegel...the founder of this meet greeted me at the track with a hug and genuine concern about my well being...he is a good man...and he knows that what happened to me was bad...wrong and bad...but like me...he is a consummate student of the universe. In his first year of retirement he has built a replica of Thoreau's Cabin behind his house... I love this guy!!! I met Mr. Irving...a white bearded man with a leather hat who knew me from "all the newspaper stuff" he had read. At the end of the night he told me that he understood how I felt...and that I was indeed blessed to have the chance to know who my real friends are and who they aren't. I have had many surprises over the past two years in this regard. I have neighbors who will not look me in the eye...and people who hardly knew me bring me into their lives and love me unconditionally. Most of us go through life thinking we know who are friends are...sometimes it takes a situation like mine with the school district to show us the truth....so I am blessed...
Concord runners won both the girls and the boys races.... and the Concord girls took home the team title...as they should have...last year they didn't even go...which was a major embarrassment to Concord High.This meet is one of the oldest running meets in NH and was started with just four teams, Concord, Brady, Merrimack Valley and Pembroke Academy...for the Tide to no show was a major snub... I am glad that they showed up this year...
I saw coaches, former athletes, former colleagues, parents....they were all there...I delivered a quality event...I care about that...the people who know me know.....they just know.... those who shy away are swayed by false accusations and anonymous public opinion....they say a lie takes just a moment to become true while the truth is lacing up it's shoes one mile behind...I live this reality every day of my life...
My eating as fine...I am really quite content foraging as my cave men and women ancestors did for fruit, nuts, and vegetables while the men hunt (or in my case grill) the meat. I have crossed over, I am no longer trying to count down the days...I have become this new me...and while I miss the pasta, and while I cringe when former athletes are afraid to say hi to me and current CHS coaches drop their eyes I know...with every thread of my being who I am ...and those who took part in what happened to me know who I am as well... and you see, they are still eating the Honey Buns and drinking the soda, fooling themselves into believing that their actions were and are okay...I, Barbara Higgins...am fine...and although tears stream down my cheeks as I type....and the loss of what I love still brings me to my knees...I...AM...FINE....I am the karma nudger...I am me...Just Barb
Friday, October 19, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 21Old Enough to Know Better!!
So I'm 21 days in....turning 21 is such aright of passage....college students look forward to this birthday for along time...and then it is anti-climactic...and somewhat annoying....all your under aged friends want you to buy for them...you are no longer considered a minor on any level....the big two one... this introduction has nothing to do with my blog today...but my workout at The Mount was definitely not for the under 21 crowd....
The energy was high...Benny was there....LAST Thursday it was only Benny and me at this workout time...no one else was there...it was all friendly and supportive and almost like a semi private personal training session...oh wait...that's exactly what it was....but this Thursday was crazy fun....Alison Vanessa and I were there along with Benny, Chandler and and...crap I forgot his name... anyhoo he probably doesn't read my blog....so we were doing dumbbell bench press from the floor...lying on the floor doing a bench press style lift with dumbbells...(yeah...probably didn't need to explain it). We had the 20 pounders out and we were to lift them until we reached our max three times...well I got 45 reps...soooo...(said Jon Farwell)..."looks like you should have used the 30 pounders Babs..."and I agreed that 45 reps probably wasn't the intent of the workout...but it didn't occur to me that I should change it up mid flow so I did my second round with the same weight...which of course earned me many demerits and humiliations (all happily received)...as well as the 30 pounders being placed ever so delicately next to my head...I banged out another 45 just to make my point...theeeennnn a meager13 with the big boys...it was during this little love fest with the dumbbells that the mood was set. I was on fire....things were said...lines were crossed...little did I know Benny was on fire too...
As we lined up for conditioning...(25 push ups, bear crawls up and back, 20 KB Swings, bear crawls up and back X4) Benny and I were directly across from each other...so I brought out my best gangsta arm maneuver and yelled Bring it on B*tch!!!! And so it began....Benny yelling at ME as he lead me through the first round of bear crawls..me yelling at him as I tried to catch up...then ME yelling at him as I passed him...then him yelling at ME as he tried to close the gap...if I thought I could get away with writing all of what went down I would...but see what happens at The Mount stays at The Mount...it's kind of an unspoken creed...and if you really want to have the full White Mountain Crossfit Experience then you need to join the gym and get on it anyway...
So the food was great today...my day was great...(Flipz, Tutoring,VLACS,Coaching,RoadRace Committee Meeting, CDA) then dinner...and soon...bed...and although I am full...I find myself with a strange craving for Almond Crusted Salmon....Have a nice night Benny!!!
The energy was high...Benny was there....LAST Thursday it was only Benny and me at this workout time...no one else was there...it was all friendly and supportive and almost like a semi private personal training session...oh wait...that's exactly what it was....but this Thursday was crazy fun....Alison Vanessa and I were there along with Benny, Chandler and and...crap I forgot his name... anyhoo he probably doesn't read my blog....so we were doing dumbbell bench press from the floor...lying on the floor doing a bench press style lift with dumbbells...(yeah...probably didn't need to explain it). We had the 20 pounders out and we were to lift them until we reached our max three times...well I got 45 reps...soooo...(said Jon Farwell)..."looks like you should have used the 30 pounders Babs..."and I agreed that 45 reps probably wasn't the intent of the workout...but it didn't occur to me that I should change it up mid flow so I did my second round with the same weight...which of course earned me many demerits and humiliations (all happily received)...as well as the 30 pounders being placed ever so delicately next to my head...I banged out another 45 just to make my point...theeeennnn a meager13 with the big boys...it was during this little love fest with the dumbbells that the mood was set. I was on fire....things were said...lines were crossed...little did I know Benny was on fire too...
As we lined up for conditioning...(25 push ups, bear crawls up and back, 20 KB Swings, bear crawls up and back X4) Benny and I were directly across from each other...so I brought out my best gangsta arm maneuver and yelled Bring it on B*tch!!!! And so it began....Benny yelling at ME as he lead me through the first round of bear crawls..me yelling at him as I tried to catch up...then ME yelling at him as I passed him...then him yelling at ME as he tried to close the gap...if I thought I could get away with writing all of what went down I would...but see what happens at The Mount stays at The Mount...it's kind of an unspoken creed...and if you really want to have the full White Mountain Crossfit Experience then you need to join the gym and get on it anyway...
So the food was great today...my day was great...(Flipz, Tutoring,VLACS,Coaching,RoadRace Committee Meeting, CDA) then dinner...and soon...bed...and although I am full...I find myself with a strange craving for Almond Crusted Salmon....Have a nice night Benny!!!
WMCF 30 for 30 Day 20 "I have to go back, I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!
I love the movie Tangled. It is an animated film about Rapunzel...it is incredibly well done and everyone in my family has seen it numerous times. There is a particularly good scene in which Rapunzel is expressing her extreme ambivalence about having left her tower...who ever wrote this scene clearly had teen aged daughters...that whole time period for girls is best described by conflict and ambivalence...this was Tuesday for me....one minute sobbing face down in the grass saying "I have to go back I am a terrible person" the next minute swinging around a giant maple tree by my 30 foot head of hair singing "best day ever I am never going back!!!!" (You all realize this is an analogy...a metaphor...a comparison...so to speak.
My eating was a hot mess today....I didn't eat anything not on my list of acceptable food items...bu all were hastily prepared and scarfed down...I just couldn't get a handle on the day...I have not had balance in my life since starting this diet challenge and I don't have a lot of it anyway...I had my moments today...and the workout was the same. We did hang cleans...I am not yet confident with this lift. When I periodically do it correctly I love how it feels...I love the balance and technique of this move and how the weight floats up there when you do it right...(okay float is an exaggeration, but I remember this race I ran in college where I had a HUGE PR and I looked at my legs with incredulity. I couldn't believe they were running so fast...this is how I feel when that weight actually lands on my shoulders or above my head...it is awesome. I to to 85 pounds...which is just ten less than my power clean PR so I was super excited...but still, it was not comfortable.
The WOD was a different story....best.wod.ever.!We did this new move (new for me) called a burpee grinder. You do a burpee and when you jump you grab the chin up bar and do a chin up then you drop to a hang and do a straight leg raise. I loved it...every bit of it...it was followed by dumbbell snatches and devil lunges, two more of my favorite moves....I was in sweaty breathless heaven....WooHooo!!! Best Day Ever!!!!!
Sometimes life can be a big ole suck sandwich and sometimes it is perfectly paleo ice cream sundae... either way there are merits and benefits to both...I love this food challenge and really can't wait until it is over...yep...I love it and I hate it...and I hate it and I love it...and I did not bring Robyn the chocolate she was begging me for...because I am that good a friend...(actually if I can;t eat neither can she...it was more about me than her...) but she knows this...that's why we are bff's!!! Smile and nod everybody..only ten more days:)
My eating was a hot mess today....I didn't eat anything not on my list of acceptable food items...bu all were hastily prepared and scarfed down...I just couldn't get a handle on the day...I have not had balance in my life since starting this diet challenge and I don't have a lot of it anyway...I had my moments today...and the workout was the same. We did hang cleans...I am not yet confident with this lift. When I periodically do it correctly I love how it feels...I love the balance and technique of this move and how the weight floats up there when you do it right...(okay float is an exaggeration, but I remember this race I ran in college where I had a HUGE PR and I looked at my legs with incredulity. I couldn't believe they were running so fast...this is how I feel when that weight actually lands on my shoulders or above my head...it is awesome. I to to 85 pounds...which is just ten less than my power clean PR so I was super excited...but still, it was not comfortable.
The WOD was a different story....best.wod.ever.!We did this new move (new for me) called a burpee grinder. You do a burpee and when you jump you grab the chin up bar and do a chin up then you drop to a hang and do a straight leg raise. I loved it...every bit of it...it was followed by dumbbell snatches and devil lunges, two more of my favorite moves....I was in sweaty breathless heaven....WooHooo!!! Best Day Ever!!!!!
Sometimes life can be a big ole suck sandwich and sometimes it is perfectly paleo ice cream sundae... either way there are merits and benefits to both...I love this food challenge and really can't wait until it is over...yep...I love it and I hate it...and I hate it and I love it...and I did not bring Robyn the chocolate she was begging me for...because I am that good a friend...(actually if I can;t eat neither can she...it was more about me than her...) but she knows this...that's why we are bff's!!! Smile and nod everybody..only ten more days:)
Thursday, October 18, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone
Seated Box jumps...just reading the words causes my stomach to tighten...you see I have NO depth perception...no really...zero...when I got my drivers licence in 1979 there was a test where you pulled these two strings in order to line up two small dowels in front of a red background. I pulled and adjusted and when I thought the dowels were side by side I dropped the strings. The instructor laughed heartily (and somewhat nervously I imagine) because one dowel was at the very front of the box and the other at the very back...I really have a hard time aligning my body, when it is motion, with objects, stationary or moving. I can not head a soccer ball and I fall UP the stairs ALL the time. Still, I rallied my mental toughness and sat down on the small box and jumped up onto the big box... 5 sets of three....no falling down...not skinned shins...but I felt like I was jumping blindly even though I could see the box. I also have a hard time jumping up and grabbing the chin up bar. I don't really know when my hands will make purchase...my inclination is to close my eyes....(yeah, I know).
We have been doing a lot of workouts and lifting exercises that are out of my comfort zone...split jerks, cleans, snatches, they are all technique events that require the lifter to have a GOOD sense of where his or her body is in space...and as it relates to the position and location of the bar...this is where I become toast...(oh toast...what I wouldn't GIVE for a piece of toast with butter and cinnamon, but I digress).
Followinf a strict food plan is out of my comfort zone and as much as I want this "third lap" to give me the confidence and knowledge that the 3rd lap of a mile would do it just isn't going to happen. I am surrounded by junk food both at work (snack basket) and at home (vending company). Kenny took the girls shopping with him yesterday so there are little cupcakes and candy corn...both reasonable pre-Halloween goodies but when I have to reach over said Candy Corn to get my car keys...(and, ironically,my anti-anxiety medication) I am definitely outside my comfort zone...gimme the candy corn dammit!!!! I want Candy...(Bow Wow Wow version....). So dumbbell push press... comfort zone...toes to bar...comfort zone but not yet mastered at a high volume... not running a few times a week...not so comfortable...Crossfit 5 times a week...totally comfortable...blogging after medication and a really good workout...TOTALLY comfortable...my week has been and will continue to be frantically busy..I don't like it much but it is my reality at the moment...should someone offer me a job, with benefits for my family, allowing me to have a predictable schedule and consistent pay check...COMFORTABLE...running around...but having time for blogging and crossfit and laundry during the day (I love laundry)...also COMFORTABLE... and there it is...
We have been doing a lot of workouts and lifting exercises that are out of my comfort zone...split jerks, cleans, snatches, they are all technique events that require the lifter to have a GOOD sense of where his or her body is in space...and as it relates to the position and location of the bar...this is where I become toast...(oh toast...what I wouldn't GIVE for a piece of toast with butter and cinnamon, but I digress).
Followinf a strict food plan is out of my comfort zone and as much as I want this "third lap" to give me the confidence and knowledge that the 3rd lap of a mile would do it just isn't going to happen. I am surrounded by junk food both at work (snack basket) and at home (vending company). Kenny took the girls shopping with him yesterday so there are little cupcakes and candy corn...both reasonable pre-Halloween goodies but when I have to reach over said Candy Corn to get my car keys...(and, ironically,my anti-anxiety medication) I am definitely outside my comfort zone...gimme the candy corn dammit!!!! I want Candy...(Bow Wow Wow version....). So dumbbell push press... comfort zone...toes to bar...comfort zone but not yet mastered at a high volume... not running a few times a week...not so comfortable...Crossfit 5 times a week...totally comfortable...blogging after medication and a really good workout...TOTALLY comfortable...my week has been and will continue to be frantically busy..I don't like it much but it is my reality at the moment...should someone offer me a job, with benefits for my family, allowing me to have a predictable schedule and consistent pay check...COMFORTABLE...running around...but having time for blogging and crossfit and laundry during the day (I love laundry)...also COMFORTABLE... and there it is...
WMCF 30 for 30 FOOD GloriousFOOD! Day 18
"Food Glorious Food, What wouldn''t I give for....that extra bit more...that's all that I live for...one moment of knowing that full up feeling,....I love musicals...I love singing...I love singing along in the car to cheesy songs...one great thing about working out at White Mountain Crossfit is the music blasting when we are weight training and then again when we begin the WOD...I can't always sing along as some of the music is indecipherable but the music is extremely helpful...when I can sing along I most certainly do....I sing when I run and when I clean...lalalalalaaaaaaa....
So...the food...after I made my big THIRD LAP sh*t's gonna get real proclamation a blog or two ago I have totally and completely fallen deeply into the grab and go mode...my diet is almost identical day to day...I am out of protein powder and although I am trying to get more meat etc into my diet I know I need this supplement....so...I am not going to wax poetic about every morsel...I ate a bunch of eggs...lots of meat and cheese and nuts and made a protein shake with everything but the powder... I had a typically crazy busy day and had to make it on hastily prepared little meals all day comprised of acceptable ingredients....this is boooorrrriiinnngggg.....also....negative and regretful self reflection... so last week....(I will now only write these posts after I have taken my medication!!!)
So the gym...the loud music....I had a big PR today...(personal record...) We were doing "jerk work" (if that isn't a song title I don't know what is!). We were practicing the split jerk...but regardless of foot placement we had to whip that sucker over our heads by getting under it and jumping into a very cool (in theory) lunge position and then lock our arms and stand there all huge like and make it real...I want to RX the workout Grace at the end of the month so 95 pounds is the magic number for me...I have been getting close...and today....yay me!!! I did 2 reps at 95 pounds!!! I failed on my first attempt and was encouraged (in a very typical Jon Farwell "if you fail in the front of the lift there will be demerits" sort of way) to try again....so I got under that bad boy and stood that sucker up!!! I am still pretty pumped up about it...I am starting to really get into the weight training now...which is weird because I am really a runner....I think the meat I am eating is transforming my brain...if I was eating pasta I would be thinking about 5K races and repeat 400's on the track...but my daily animal protein intake is brainwashing me I just know it...Moooo....bring on the beef....."Meat glorious meat..what wouldn't I give for...."
So...the food...after I made my big THIRD LAP sh*t's gonna get real proclamation a blog or two ago I have totally and completely fallen deeply into the grab and go mode...my diet is almost identical day to day...I am out of protein powder and although I am trying to get more meat etc into my diet I know I need this supplement....so...I am not going to wax poetic about every morsel...I ate a bunch of eggs...lots of meat and cheese and nuts and made a protein shake with everything but the powder... I had a typically crazy busy day and had to make it on hastily prepared little meals all day comprised of acceptable ingredients....this is boooorrrriiinnngggg.....also....negative and regretful self reflection... so last week....(I will now only write these posts after I have taken my medication!!!)
So the gym...the loud music....I had a big PR today...(personal record...) We were doing "jerk work" (if that isn't a song title I don't know what is!). We were practicing the split jerk...but regardless of foot placement we had to whip that sucker over our heads by getting under it and jumping into a very cool (in theory) lunge position and then lock our arms and stand there all huge like and make it real...I want to RX the workout Grace at the end of the month so 95 pounds is the magic number for me...I have been getting close...and today....yay me!!! I did 2 reps at 95 pounds!!! I failed on my first attempt and was encouraged (in a very typical Jon Farwell "if you fail in the front of the lift there will be demerits" sort of way) to try again....so I got under that bad boy and stood that sucker up!!! I am still pretty pumped up about it...I am starting to really get into the weight training now...which is weird because I am really a runner....I think the meat I am eating is transforming my brain...if I was eating pasta I would be thinking about 5K races and repeat 400's on the track...but my daily animal protein intake is brainwashing me I just know it...Moooo....bring on the beef....."Meat glorious meat..what wouldn't I give for...."
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
30 for 30 Food Challenge "Oh My God it's Frankie Vona!"
David Vona was my college sweetheart...actually our relationship...on and off spanned from 1982 to 1996... there were long periods of separation of course...but we always managed to find our way back to each other...we ended up marrying other people obviously and now we are both parents and busy with trying to give our children good (read better) lives and smiling through it all. David is a part of the fabric of my life...he will always be...and I know the same holds true for him...my pictures are in family albums at his mothers house...something like 6 consecutive Christmas's worth of me in his family albums...one of the things I loved most about him was his family. It was large and cohesive and dysfunctional and ethnic and loving...there was always something going on...when I look at facebook pictures of his siblings and their children (and his children) I see that the Vona Family Connection lives on...it was awesome...and I loved being a part of it. It probably kept me connected to David a lot longer than the relationship itself...David was way too kind and sweet for someone like me. I was hard on him...he had me at my worst...those late teen and early twenties years when I was grappling with my childhood and partying like a fiend and making really stupid choices... I imagine his wife is much better to him that I was... but we remain good friends...and for that I am thankful.
So after my morning omelet and the fruit, veggie and meat snacks eaten on the way down with my co-worker Dave (strange coincidence) it was with great surprise, nostalgia and happiness that I was greeted upon stepping out of the car by the one and only David Vona!! The race I was timing was taking place in West Newton Massachusetts at a bar called Paddy's. I knew as I drove down there that the likelihood of seeing a Vona at a bar in West Newton was high...so I wasn't totally taken aback... but when someone came up behind me and said, "excuse me Miss but my son said I should come say hi to you" I turned around and there he was...the legendary Frank Vona.....David's Dad....
Frankie was a firefighter in West Newton (or maybe Waltham) but regardless, that end of Newton was his stomping grounds...and there he was....looking almost exactly the same...WAY more the same than David and I look....although when I pointed this out to David his reply was..."yeah, well he looked 70 when he was 40"....(good point David...) Frankie Vona was (and is) a legend...whether or not that is a good thing depends on who you ask I guess...
Like the food has brought up a multitude of memories, issues, and experiences for me...so too did my morning in West Newton with the Vona's. I posted on FB where and with whom I was to which I received a number of replies from BU and Newton folk from the 1980's. (Best decade ever...I still have my blue mascara). As I set up the start and finish ina pouring rain and punched bib numbers into the time machine for an hour, I had a lot of brain time to ponder my life...the college and David years... the Concord and Chaz McCrave, Jim Graham, and Eric Nelson years...and now the Kenny years...my life through the lens of men I have loved and still love...(I love them all you see)... it is sobering sometimes reliving all of these things....(no pun intended there) which is why I think I spend most of my cognitive energy on other people...it is so much easier...I know that this blog is a prime example of self absorbtion...this public diary keeping has often offended me...but as I follow the blogs of others I always seem to learn something new or find something out about myself...(this happens to me when I write this one as well!) so I will post the full 30...even though I write less and less about the food each day...Sunday was easy...a warm oven stuffer roaster for dinner with Butternut Squash and potatoes...very yummy and filling...my new dessert of habit...a protein shake with veggie juice and milk and frozen fruit...my new Klondike Bar...I slept well Sunday Night...fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow...too much to ponder...
So after my morning omelet and the fruit, veggie and meat snacks eaten on the way down with my co-worker Dave (strange coincidence) it was with great surprise, nostalgia and happiness that I was greeted upon stepping out of the car by the one and only David Vona!! The race I was timing was taking place in West Newton Massachusetts at a bar called Paddy's. I knew as I drove down there that the likelihood of seeing a Vona at a bar in West Newton was high...so I wasn't totally taken aback... but when someone came up behind me and said, "excuse me Miss but my son said I should come say hi to you" I turned around and there he was...the legendary Frank Vona.....David's Dad....
Frankie was a firefighter in West Newton (or maybe Waltham) but regardless, that end of Newton was his stomping grounds...and there he was....looking almost exactly the same...WAY more the same than David and I look....although when I pointed this out to David his reply was..."yeah, well he looked 70 when he was 40"....(good point David...) Frankie Vona was (and is) a legend...whether or not that is a good thing depends on who you ask I guess...
Like the food has brought up a multitude of memories, issues, and experiences for me...so too did my morning in West Newton with the Vona's. I posted on FB where and with whom I was to which I received a number of replies from BU and Newton folk from the 1980's. (Best decade ever...I still have my blue mascara). As I set up the start and finish ina pouring rain and punched bib numbers into the time machine for an hour, I had a lot of brain time to ponder my life...the college and David years... the Concord and Chaz McCrave, Jim Graham, and Eric Nelson years...and now the Kenny years...my life through the lens of men I have loved and still love...(I love them all you see)... it is sobering sometimes reliving all of these things....(no pun intended there) which is why I think I spend most of my cognitive energy on other people...it is so much easier...I know that this blog is a prime example of self absorbtion...this public diary keeping has often offended me...but as I follow the blogs of others I always seem to learn something new or find something out about myself...(this happens to me when I write this one as well!) so I will post the full 30...even though I write less and less about the food each day...Sunday was easy...a warm oven stuffer roaster for dinner with Butternut Squash and potatoes...very yummy and filling...my new dessert of habit...a protein shake with veggie juice and milk and frozen fruit...my new Klondike Bar...I slept well Sunday Night...fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow...too much to ponder...
30 for 30 Day 16 Go Wildcats!
Those of you who are UNH Alumni or Students are no doubt getting that my title is referring to the University Mascot and then again those of you with daughters may get a High School Musical reference and then again perhaps my Sierra Club fans will be thinking about nature and well really I was timing the UNH Alumni 5K Race and since this took up the most of my day I figured it would make a good title for today's post. It is also my 12th anniversary and while that evokes a whole different set of memories I will stick with the Wildcat reference.
We arrived at UNH at 7:00am on this sunny COLD Saturday morning. One would think that a college town with the party reputation that UNH has would be sound asleep at 7am on a Saturday but the place was humming. Our first site upon entering town??? A group of students surrounding a keg drinking in front of one of the frat houses..."Go Wildcats!!" Homecoming is serious business in Durham NH....let the games begin. I am getting very proficient at eating a good breakfast before timing races...it requires an early awakening but I am streamlining that too. I had packed a veritable quagmire of healthy snacks, for the morning...I was ready...and I needed to be...the 400 people who ran the race, requiring TWO finish line chutes which were operated by 12 AWESOME college students took a LOT of emotional and physical energy...it all worked out just fine and the race was successful. I am learning alot and I like that..the consummate student I guess...too bad I can't afford to keep taking my graduate classes but that is another story for another post...I learned alot today...
When I came home I sat on the couch and stayed there...the longer I sat the heavier I became. This movie came on called "Catch Me If You Can" starring Leonardo DiCaprio as a con artist/check forger. It is based on a true story and I got drawn in because it was just so amazing how he could create these checks and cash them and take on all of these different persona's and travel all over the world. He was haunted of course by his painful childhood memories and hunted by an obsessed FBI agent (for whom he later worked and is still friends with today)...so his life wasn't stress free...but still, there are times when I just want to run away and others when I wish I could be someone else... we are trapped by our choices we humans....little teeny insignificant choices...that can somehow change your life...this is where I am today.... so my typical big giant salad with grilled chicken worked it's magic as my restaurant meal and I cheated once again with that blasted Pumpkin Beer but hey...it's a big day right???
In spite of how exhausting today was, and the fact that I have to get up and do it again tomorrow I am building strength and confidence from my resolve with the food. I knew that I could mostly do it (like being mostly dead all day) but not sure that I could (or would) totally do it and I am quite sure that the beer takes away the totally anyway...but I have reached across a bowl of candy corn for my keys, I have moved those little tiny cupcakes aside to grab a handful of almonds and I have bypassed cans of soda for another bottle of water...and I am braver in the gym. Oh..a new favorite food...Pumpkin Squash!!!!! So yummy:) I am planning on warming it up for breakfast...woohoo...go Wildcats!!!
We arrived at UNH at 7:00am on this sunny COLD Saturday morning. One would think that a college town with the party reputation that UNH has would be sound asleep at 7am on a Saturday but the place was humming. Our first site upon entering town??? A group of students surrounding a keg drinking in front of one of the frat houses..."Go Wildcats!!" Homecoming is serious business in Durham NH....let the games begin. I am getting very proficient at eating a good breakfast before timing races...it requires an early awakening but I am streamlining that too. I had packed a veritable quagmire of healthy snacks, for the morning...I was ready...and I needed to be...the 400 people who ran the race, requiring TWO finish line chutes which were operated by 12 AWESOME college students took a LOT of emotional and physical energy...it all worked out just fine and the race was successful. I am learning alot and I like that..the consummate student I guess...too bad I can't afford to keep taking my graduate classes but that is another story for another post...I learned alot today...
When I came home I sat on the couch and stayed there...the longer I sat the heavier I became. This movie came on called "Catch Me If You Can" starring Leonardo DiCaprio as a con artist/check forger. It is based on a true story and I got drawn in because it was just so amazing how he could create these checks and cash them and take on all of these different persona's and travel all over the world. He was haunted of course by his painful childhood memories and hunted by an obsessed FBI agent (for whom he later worked and is still friends with today)...so his life wasn't stress free...but still, there are times when I just want to run away and others when I wish I could be someone else... we are trapped by our choices we humans....little teeny insignificant choices...that can somehow change your life...this is where I am today.... so my typical big giant salad with grilled chicken worked it's magic as my restaurant meal and I cheated once again with that blasted Pumpkin Beer but hey...it's a big day right???
In spite of how exhausting today was, and the fact that I have to get up and do it again tomorrow I am building strength and confidence from my resolve with the food. I knew that I could mostly do it (like being mostly dead all day) but not sure that I could (or would) totally do it and I am quite sure that the beer takes away the totally anyway...but I have reached across a bowl of candy corn for my keys, I have moved those little tiny cupcakes aside to grab a handful of almonds and I have bypassed cans of soda for another bottle of water...and I am braver in the gym. Oh..a new favorite food...Pumpkin Squash!!!!! So yummy:) I am planning on warming it up for breakfast...woohoo...go Wildcats!!!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
30 for 30 Day 15 Two Laps Down, Two To Go,,
The mile is my go to analogy for life. I compare many things to this 4 lap piece of heaven. Each lap has it's pros and cons and each has a special place in my heart. Believe it or not my LEAST favorite lap is the first...not because I have the whole race ahead of me...I really don't mind the pain...but there is still so much unknown as I come out of the first turn and head down the back stretch. No rhythm has been established and the tension is high...when I start a WOD in the gym it takes me a round or two to hit my stride (see...there it is again...a race analogy!) The second lap is sweet relief...my breathing has settled down, my legs are on auto pilot and my senses are keen. Coming down the home stretch after lap two is when the race really starts...half way has always been a great tipping point...
I had my gymnastics girls do 100 evil burpees for their conditioning workout today. I broke them down into sets of five on the minute and gave them a minute rest after 10 minutes. After each 25 I told them...if you were running a mile you would be completing the first lap...etc. etc. They were not as thrilled with the analogy as I was however...they all were happy to be doing evil burpees rather than running a mile...(go figure!) I can't help myself... but breaking things down into manageable pieces is a great mental strategy for an athlete..regardless of the activity.
So today is my half way point...from here on out I have less of the challenge ahead of me than I do behind...I am coming down the other side of the mountain, I am heading into the third lap...I had my shaky first week and then my easier second week...I am at the tipping point now....I am entering the penultimate lap...Lap Three....many a mile race is decided in this lap...it isn't always apparent to the crowd as all they have is what they see, but lap three is a decisive lap...moves are made, tactics are employed and actions executed...THIS is my favorite lap of the race...I was a really good miler once and I always knew during the third lap what I would need to do to win...I was seldom beaten at this distance if I was good enough to be in the hunt...the last lap is simply the ocean roaring in my ears and every cell of my body, mind and soul is completely engaged (like those last 62.5 kettlebell swings in my 250 workout). Very few things in life can imitate this feeling...
As much as I am excited about entering the third lap of my eating challenge I know that I will need to make good decisions in the next two weeks not because I will fail the challenge...but because I could fail to continue the challenge, to create and ingrain the new habits into my subconscious...you see I want to carry on with these eating habits after the 30 days are up...I may have the occasional bowl of oatmeal..(I really miss that) but I do NOT miss the honey bun...or the soda...it's pretty amazing...I really miss mac and cheese too... so this next week will be important for me...it will be time to intellectualize this challenge. Compile recipes, get a bigger crock pot, actually USE a crockpot! A time to begin to execute actions and make decisions, develop tactics that will allow me to maintain my stride for 15 more days. Bring on the mile.....errrrr.the crock pot....Bring on Lap Three!!
I had my gymnastics girls do 100 evil burpees for their conditioning workout today. I broke them down into sets of five on the minute and gave them a minute rest after 10 minutes. After each 25 I told them...if you were running a mile you would be completing the first lap...etc. etc. They were not as thrilled with the analogy as I was however...they all were happy to be doing evil burpees rather than running a mile...(go figure!) I can't help myself... but breaking things down into manageable pieces is a great mental strategy for an athlete..regardless of the activity.
So today is my half way point...from here on out I have less of the challenge ahead of me than I do behind...I am coming down the other side of the mountain, I am heading into the third lap...I had my shaky first week and then my easier second week...I am at the tipping point now....I am entering the penultimate lap...Lap Three....many a mile race is decided in this lap...it isn't always apparent to the crowd as all they have is what they see, but lap three is a decisive lap...moves are made, tactics are employed and actions executed...THIS is my favorite lap of the race...I was a really good miler once and I always knew during the third lap what I would need to do to win...I was seldom beaten at this distance if I was good enough to be in the hunt...the last lap is simply the ocean roaring in my ears and every cell of my body, mind and soul is completely engaged (like those last 62.5 kettlebell swings in my 250 workout). Very few things in life can imitate this feeling...
As much as I am excited about entering the third lap of my eating challenge I know that I will need to make good decisions in the next two weeks not because I will fail the challenge...but because I could fail to continue the challenge, to create and ingrain the new habits into my subconscious...you see I want to carry on with these eating habits after the 30 days are up...I may have the occasional bowl of oatmeal..(I really miss that) but I do NOT miss the honey bun...or the soda...it's pretty amazing...I really miss mac and cheese too... so this next week will be important for me...it will be time to intellectualize this challenge. Compile recipes, get a bigger crock pot, actually USE a crockpot! A time to begin to execute actions and make decisions, develop tactics that will allow me to maintain my stride for 15 more days. Bring on the mile.....errrrr.the crock pot....Bring on Lap Three!!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
30 for 30 Day 14 Tut Tut looks like rain!!
Pooh wanted the honey...but he wasn't strong enough to climb the tree and get it...so he painted a balloon grey and floated up to the bees nests while poor Piglet paced back and forth beneath the tree exclaiming "tut tut..looks like rain!" in an effort to convince the bees that the balloon was in fact a cloud and that the bear below the balloon should be somehow ignored Poor Piglet typically bore the brunt of Pooh's misguided plans and schemes (which typically centered around honey and the acquisition and consumption thereof). I always felt badly for Piglet as a child. It isn't that Pooh meant to cause him anxiety but he did....again and again. As a child what I missed in these stories was the willingness of Pooh to come up with new and creative ideas in his ever present quest for honey....I got lost in Piglet's anxiety...
As I have navigated this new (but not so exciting) way of eating I have had to get creative in my ever present quest for satiation. The blue skies today provided some much needed emotional nutrition and my now increasingly automatic habit of food preparation fed my stomach. I still haven't got the timing down...which is what I think reminded me of Pooh...he came so close so many times...and then, when he was actually able to eat all he wanted...he became trapped (in the Rabbit hole) and had to thin up for a few days while Rabbit drew a face on his butt and hung dish rags from his feet. I feel like this sometimes...and then I feel like Piglet...all worried about a million things I can't control.
I am getting stronger...I'm not sure scientifically if this diet can work this fast but I am noticing a new confidence in myself at the gym. I am also getting more and more interested in the lifting aspect of my hour a day at White Mountain Crossfit....see I have always been all about the conditioning...and truthfully that is what gets me fired up, but I am also competitive with myself and as I watch the elite athletes in my gym power clean, or snatch, or jerk the bar over their head in a motion that reminds me of a ballet dancer I want to be able to do it too. I know what is happening to me...I am gaining confidence not because of the diet but because I am following the diet. It isn't the food...it's the sacrifice...the willful attempt of something outside my comfort zone for a bigger gain. Like giving up diet coke for the cross-country season...each diet coke free day would build my resolve and thus increase my desire which in turn made me more confident. (It was actually Skye who pointed this out to me...) and then I remembered that I aways had my runners make some small but meaningful sacrifice for the cross-country season...for the very reason just stated. I have also noticed that I am gaining resolve in other areas of my life...professionally, personally, and of course physically. It is exhilarating...
It is supposed to be rainy again tomorrow and I guess that even if the bees don't believe him I feel pretty sure that Pooh will eventually get just the right amount of honey. It will be rainy tomorrow...but that's okay...tomorrow is Football Friday....which will be some crazy workout that will leave me on all fours with a big ole smile on my face...now that's my kinda honey...
As I have navigated this new (but not so exciting) way of eating I have had to get creative in my ever present quest for satiation. The blue skies today provided some much needed emotional nutrition and my now increasingly automatic habit of food preparation fed my stomach. I still haven't got the timing down...which is what I think reminded me of Pooh...he came so close so many times...and then, when he was actually able to eat all he wanted...he became trapped (in the Rabbit hole) and had to thin up for a few days while Rabbit drew a face on his butt and hung dish rags from his feet. I feel like this sometimes...and then I feel like Piglet...all worried about a million things I can't control.
I am getting stronger...I'm not sure scientifically if this diet can work this fast but I am noticing a new confidence in myself at the gym. I am also getting more and more interested in the lifting aspect of my hour a day at White Mountain Crossfit....see I have always been all about the conditioning...and truthfully that is what gets me fired up, but I am also competitive with myself and as I watch the elite athletes in my gym power clean, or snatch, or jerk the bar over their head in a motion that reminds me of a ballet dancer I want to be able to do it too. I know what is happening to me...I am gaining confidence not because of the diet but because I am following the diet. It isn't the food...it's the sacrifice...the willful attempt of something outside my comfort zone for a bigger gain. Like giving up diet coke for the cross-country season...each diet coke free day would build my resolve and thus increase my desire which in turn made me more confident. (It was actually Skye who pointed this out to me...) and then I remembered that I aways had my runners make some small but meaningful sacrifice for the cross-country season...for the very reason just stated. I have also noticed that I am gaining resolve in other areas of my life...professionally, personally, and of course physically. It is exhilarating...
It is supposed to be rainy again tomorrow and I guess that even if the bees don't believe him I feel pretty sure that Pooh will eventually get just the right amount of honey. It will be rainy tomorrow...but that's okay...tomorrow is Football Friday....which will be some crazy workout that will leave me on all fours with a big ole smile on my face...now that's my kinda honey...
Friday, October 12, 2012
WMCF 30 for 30 "Lucky 13" An Attitude of Gratitude
One of the lasting effects of my seven years of regular attendance at Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings has been the ability to live in an "attitude of gratitude". Many newly recovering alcoholics are very shaky in their first few meetings and listening to seasoned recovered addicts speak about what they are grateful for is incredibly helpful...at least it was for me...to this day when I am in a really bad place and someone asks me how I am I respond with ..."well, I'm not naked and I'm not in jail"...so right now I'm good. This always evokes a chuckle...but I do it to remind my self that there is always humor...and things could always be worse. This food thing I am doing here has brought me back to gratitude many times. I can't walk into my Crossfit Gym without feeling immense gratitude. The community I have become a part of is unpredictably amazing...I never really know where the conversations will go or how the WOD will play out but I can BE SURE that someone will say call me by name and say hello. There is something powerful about someone saying your name.(Sometimes you wanna go where every body knows your naaaame) It validates you somehow. When I was still teaching in the Concord School District I attended a conference and learned that a major strategy in improving student performance was to address your students by name outside the classroom. When you saw them in the hall say hello to them and include their name. This gesture creates a sense of belonging in the student which in turn connects them on an emotional level to their school community. This emotional connection will positively affect their desire to succeed...instilling a sense that they matter. This really resonated with me. My greatest strength as a teacher or a coach is my ability to connect with and motivate my students and athletes. Belonging to White Mountain Crossfit gives me this connection. I am on the receiving end of such personal support it is impossible not to feel gratitude.
Three specific things happened to me over the course of Monday and Tuesday that were profound because (as you have read) I have been a bit melancholy on many levels. They were all interactions with people I may or may not have known and they all involved a compliment. Now I know what you are thinking..a big giant ego stroke....and maybe that is part of it...but rather than make me walk around all full of myself I just felt grateful to be surrounded by people who would notice these things.
Compliment Number One happened Monday night at the 5:00 Crossfit Workout. I seldom go at night so I didn't know many folks there. The workout consisted of kettle bell swings and ring pull ups. The scaled version of a ring pull up is a ring row and I did not want to go to ring rows...so I stuck with the pull ups even though my "number" at the end of the WOD would be lower...(not MORE reps, BETTER reps) echoed in my head. (thank-you Jonathan Farwell). When the workout was over a woman came up to me and said, "I was watching you struggle through those ring pull ups and I am so impressed with how hard you tried and how you didn't give up. You inspired me the whole time" I was speechless, mainly because how I actually felt during the workout was like a Barbie Doll attempting to circumnavigate a GI Joe obstacle course...all weak and silly looking as my legs flailed wildly with each pull up. But what she saw was someone trying as hard as they could to do the workout. It wasn't lost on her and it inspired her. It made me feel pretty darned good and my feeble "thank-you" felt woefully inadequate. You see, I look really fit. I am naturally lean and muscular. I always have been....So I don't often get this kind of compliment from the less fit in the gym. It really meant a lot to me. I can still hear my Nike coach telling another coach, as I was about to start a race, that although I looked fit, I couldn't push over a marshmallow...I was extremely grateful for this compliment.
Compliment Number Two happened on Tuesday in a trendy boutique where I was trying on little dresses that I will never be able to afford. I was chatting with the store clerk and we got to talking about age and life and such... as I came out of the dressing room in this particularly perfect dress she commented on how good I looked. I thanked her and mumbled something about the dress accentuating my shape and she replied that no she meant how did I stay so fit and lean. Of course I talked about Crossfit until I saw her eyes glaze over and then returned to the dressing room...this one may have been all about ego but again...one year ago at this time I was 150 pounds and far more depressed than I am today. I wouldn't have even attempted this dress a year ago...I was grateful.
Compliment Number Three was back in the Crossfit Gym. I was working out with Lynn, a woman whom I admire greatly as a Crossfit athlete. She has amazing technique and makes many difficult lifts look incredibly easy and graceful. We were doing max pull-up sets and I had just jumped down and taken a seat next to her to rest. "You have a beautiful back".... I turned to look at her and she continued by saying that I had the kind of back that would be the picture for how you would want your back to look. Since my back is behind me I don't get to analyse it like I do my stomach (no picture perfect here thank-you age, gravity and children). I was surprised by the compliment...mostly because I was in that mid-workout daze but also because it was coming from someone I look up to as an athlete. Of course I thanked her and that compliment stayed with me throughout the whole workout. I will admit, upon later inspection, I do have a pretty awesome back...but that is just the luck of genetics for me...I am far from being the strongest female in the gym....but I would put my back right up there with the best of them. Again...I am so grateful to have this lifestyle and support system in my life.
I am grateful for Skye Butman...who introduced the existence of the White Mountain Crossfit to me. I am grateful for Robyn Grant....who called me on the phone shortly after I lost my job and willingly took my hand and led me out of the dark and then gave me a job and then inspired me to actually step into the gym. I am grateful for Jonathan Farwell and all of his "abuse" of me in the gym...I would be lost without it and I am grateful for Brad Newbury for being so excited when I joined and being so supportive every time I work out. I am grateful for Ian Butman and his "way to go Barb" from the squat rack as I sweat my way through some painful activity and the similar support from Craig. And of course there is "Team Talk", and Benny and Derrick and "Ponyboy" and Chan Chan and Alaka and Albee and Josh and Linda and Jen and dance Tom and on and on and on...I am just so grateful....
Oh..the food...the puepose of this whole blog... I am not yet grateful for this food business...I did okay today...not great...I relied on protein shakes and small pieces of left over meat. I had a quick omelet and some trail mix. I don't even think about what to reach for now but I haven't improved upon my meal planning one bit...so I will be grateful that I tossed the Honey Bun today. I don't need it there anymore, and it was out dated anyway...it hadn't been attempting it's sugary seduction for a while now so this was a bit anti-climactic...so today...on Day 13...lucky 13...I am grateful...
Three specific things happened to me over the course of Monday and Tuesday that were profound because (as you have read) I have been a bit melancholy on many levels. They were all interactions with people I may or may not have known and they all involved a compliment. Now I know what you are thinking..a big giant ego stroke....and maybe that is part of it...but rather than make me walk around all full of myself I just felt grateful to be surrounded by people who would notice these things.
Compliment Number One happened Monday night at the 5:00 Crossfit Workout. I seldom go at night so I didn't know many folks there. The workout consisted of kettle bell swings and ring pull ups. The scaled version of a ring pull up is a ring row and I did not want to go to ring rows...so I stuck with the pull ups even though my "number" at the end of the WOD would be lower...(not MORE reps, BETTER reps) echoed in my head. (thank-you Jonathan Farwell). When the workout was over a woman came up to me and said, "I was watching you struggle through those ring pull ups and I am so impressed with how hard you tried and how you didn't give up. You inspired me the whole time" I was speechless, mainly because how I actually felt during the workout was like a Barbie Doll attempting to circumnavigate a GI Joe obstacle course...all weak and silly looking as my legs flailed wildly with each pull up. But what she saw was someone trying as hard as they could to do the workout. It wasn't lost on her and it inspired her. It made me feel pretty darned good and my feeble "thank-you" felt woefully inadequate. You see, I look really fit. I am naturally lean and muscular. I always have been....So I don't often get this kind of compliment from the less fit in the gym. It really meant a lot to me. I can still hear my Nike coach telling another coach, as I was about to start a race, that although I looked fit, I couldn't push over a marshmallow...I was extremely grateful for this compliment.
Compliment Number Two happened on Tuesday in a trendy boutique where I was trying on little dresses that I will never be able to afford. I was chatting with the store clerk and we got to talking about age and life and such... as I came out of the dressing room in this particularly perfect dress she commented on how good I looked. I thanked her and mumbled something about the dress accentuating my shape and she replied that no she meant how did I stay so fit and lean. Of course I talked about Crossfit until I saw her eyes glaze over and then returned to the dressing room...this one may have been all about ego but again...one year ago at this time I was 150 pounds and far more depressed than I am today. I wouldn't have even attempted this dress a year ago...I was grateful.
Compliment Number Three was back in the Crossfit Gym. I was working out with Lynn, a woman whom I admire greatly as a Crossfit athlete. She has amazing technique and makes many difficult lifts look incredibly easy and graceful. We were doing max pull-up sets and I had just jumped down and taken a seat next to her to rest. "You have a beautiful back".... I turned to look at her and she continued by saying that I had the kind of back that would be the picture for how you would want your back to look. Since my back is behind me I don't get to analyse it like I do my stomach (no picture perfect here thank-you age, gravity and children). I was surprised by the compliment...mostly because I was in that mid-workout daze but also because it was coming from someone I look up to as an athlete. Of course I thanked her and that compliment stayed with me throughout the whole workout. I will admit, upon later inspection, I do have a pretty awesome back...but that is just the luck of genetics for me...I am far from being the strongest female in the gym....but I would put my back right up there with the best of them. Again...I am so grateful to have this lifestyle and support system in my life.
I am grateful for Skye Butman...who introduced the existence of the White Mountain Crossfit to me. I am grateful for Robyn Grant....who called me on the phone shortly after I lost my job and willingly took my hand and led me out of the dark and then gave me a job and then inspired me to actually step into the gym. I am grateful for Jonathan Farwell and all of his "abuse" of me in the gym...I would be lost without it and I am grateful for Brad Newbury for being so excited when I joined and being so supportive every time I work out. I am grateful for Ian Butman and his "way to go Barb" from the squat rack as I sweat my way through some painful activity and the similar support from Craig. And of course there is "Team Talk", and Benny and Derrick and "Ponyboy" and Chan Chan and Alaka and Albee and Josh and Linda and Jen and dance Tom and on and on and on...I am just so grateful....
Oh..the food...the puepose of this whole blog... I am not yet grateful for this food business...I did okay today...not great...I relied on protein shakes and small pieces of left over meat. I had a quick omelet and some trail mix. I don't even think about what to reach for now but I haven't improved upon my meal planning one bit...so I will be grateful that I tossed the Honey Bun today. I don't need it there anymore, and it was out dated anyway...it hadn't been attempting it's sugary seduction for a while now so this was a bit anti-climactic...so today...on Day 13...lucky 13...I am grateful...
Thursday, October 11, 2012
30 for 30 Day 12.."for everything there is a season"
I have written about the many things that this food challenge has brought up for me..and my recent bout of manic and frenzied behavior brought me back (one again) that in many areas of my life the more things change, the more they stay the same. Tuesday was a good day..it was relaxing..my friend lives in a coastal town on the north shore of Boston and running along the ocean was breathtaking. It was a grey day...and with the wind felt like November...there was an expectant feel to the air..that silence of anticipation that only happens during spring and fall. There is an energy to the air that I feel very keenly at this time of year. It isn't always good...fall has been tough for me. I was often sick in the fall as a young asthmatic...the changing air and the moldy leaves...the heat coming on and stirring up dust... and my family was often at it's worst in the fall...at least I remember it this way... and it got dark.... I don't mind the cold and the snow..I just don't like the dark...if the sun set at 7:00pm all winter I would be fine...
So I woke up in the post Pumpkin Beer haze and walked to the 7-11 for a coffee...it was heavenly. I had not prepared any food to bring so I ate cheese and fruit and some carrots. An ample enough breakfast to run three easy miles on...I had a wonderful lunch at a Greek Restaurant of chicken and veggies and really food wasn't too big a deal on this day...but the contemplative time in the car was my digestive time...I sing along to Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift (there...it's been said) and try to figure things out. As far as the food goes...I am still forgetting to eat. So although I am only putting GOOD food into my body...I am still practicing my "oh no I'm late and I need to eat" lifestyle. This really isn't good...this apparent purposeful refusal somewhere in my deep subconscious to take ownership of my diet...food preparation...choices...etc. It make me sigh audibly when I think about it, not because of the subject matter...(food)...but because I can see this pattern in so many places in my life...I am so busy running around with the day to day tasks that I can't get to the important stuff...
Anyway...I am not really sad...this post is a bit depressing upon re-read but I do feel a bit apprehensive and driving home Tuesday afternoon I was in a strange place....not quite happy not quite sad...not quite successful...not quite failing...just in transition....which is exactly what life in New England in the fall is all about...leaves still green and full on some trees, others half bare with their brightly colored remnants clinging desperately in the wind and still others down to the branches. And me...half healthy half not ...circling the airport so to speak on a variety of issues in my life...and as I type this the ring pull ups I did in the gym last night live on in my sore arms....(I did them all by the way..no ring rows for me!!) I have a busy week ahead...and no days off until November...(see there it is again...too busy...like the mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland...so the warm bowl of hamburger and tomatoes and a variety of other veggies made for a cozy dinner and I fell asleep watching NICS....yeah....I do eventually crash...can't circle the airport forever!!!
So I woke up in the post Pumpkin Beer haze and walked to the 7-11 for a coffee...it was heavenly. I had not prepared any food to bring so I ate cheese and fruit and some carrots. An ample enough breakfast to run three easy miles on...I had a wonderful lunch at a Greek Restaurant of chicken and veggies and really food wasn't too big a deal on this day...but the contemplative time in the car was my digestive time...I sing along to Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift (there...it's been said) and try to figure things out. As far as the food goes...I am still forgetting to eat. So although I am only putting GOOD food into my body...I am still practicing my "oh no I'm late and I need to eat" lifestyle. This really isn't good...this apparent purposeful refusal somewhere in my deep subconscious to take ownership of my diet...food preparation...choices...etc. It make me sigh audibly when I think about it, not because of the subject matter...(food)...but because I can see this pattern in so many places in my life...I am so busy running around with the day to day tasks that I can't get to the important stuff...
Anyway...I am not really sad...this post is a bit depressing upon re-read but I do feel a bit apprehensive and driving home Tuesday afternoon I was in a strange place....not quite happy not quite sad...not quite successful...not quite failing...just in transition....which is exactly what life in New England in the fall is all about...leaves still green and full on some trees, others half bare with their brightly colored remnants clinging desperately in the wind and still others down to the branches. And me...half healthy half not ...circling the airport so to speak on a variety of issues in my life...and as I type this the ring pull ups I did in the gym last night live on in my sore arms....(I did them all by the way..no ring rows for me!!) I have a busy week ahead...and no days off until November...(see there it is again...too busy...like the mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland...so the warm bowl of hamburger and tomatoes and a variety of other veggies made for a cozy dinner and I fell asleep watching NICS....yeah....I do eventually crash...can't circle the airport forever!!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
30 for 30 Day 12 "It's Just Another Manic Monday"
This was a crazy day...which was preceded by an Sunday of the kind of mania I described in a prior post about how I fill my life up so that I don't have to think and then I run around like a mad woman trying to get everything done...so THIS mania was actually me trying to spend 24 hours with an old friend out of town. In order for me to leave home I have to spell out in great detail every movement, activity, potential mishap, menu, clothing for said activities and schedules for my daughters. Things I do without thinking need to be spelled out specifically. It is commonly thought that teachers don't use their sick days when they are sick so they can save them up for the big cash buy out at retirement... no...it is because writing out substitute plans, which have to spell out ALL of the little things that teachers do on a regular basis without thinking takes up SO much time that it is just easier to go in to school sick. So Sunday was non-stop...getting everything done for when I would be gone. Phone calls and facebook messages for child care and carpooling, lunches and snacks pre-made so my currently one handed Kenny could feed the girls...then of course, my food preparation is a bit more time consuming....I am getting all jazzed up just writing about it...it really sucked.
So Monday morning, ten minutes before I am supposed to go away for my 36 hours of race timing and visiting I am not ready, I haven't eaten, Kenny's hand is the size of a watermelon and I am in my pajamas. The girls are all set and the plans are made, but they are uneasy and sense my freneticism... bah...forget it...I will just ride to the race with a co-worker and come home. Screw it...this mini vacation s not worth the aggravation. I throw a bag of walnuts, a bag of almonds, some raisins, two bananas, a bag of baby carrots, a bag of grapes and a full wedge of Swiss cheese into a bag, change into my clothes and go to the race. By the time I got to Boston I am feeling better and the friendly atmosphere of the Boston Common on Tufts 10K Day washes over me. I feel at home....and thoroughly regret leaving all my unpacked crap at home...I wasn't worried anymore. Kenny called and his hand was fine...the girls were OK...BAH!!! We had lunch from Starbucks so I had chicken salad and water...and copious amounts of cheese and grapes...it was allllllll good.
As we drove home after the race I decided, as crazy as it was, to return to Boston and have my visit... I know...what a waste of quality visiting time. Except that I got to visit with my good friend and co-worker on the drive down and back, and I snuck in a Crossfit workout at home...(those ring pull ups were an armpit muscle killer...). I had some quick smooches with Molly and Gracie so I knew that they were okay...and I saw with my own eyes that Kenny's arm was not turning black and falling off. The den was safe and the mama bear could venture forth for her jungle holiday.
It was lovely, the drive down was quiet...when I arrived we went out to eat...my standard restaurant fare is a salad of some sort with grilled meat of some sort and this night was no exception....I must admit here....I had two pumpkin beers again...complete with the rim of the glass licking. You know... it is not lost on me that my two cheats have been alcohol...even though I seldom if ever drink... the honey bun which is a staple item in the standard Barb menu has not spoken to me for days... one would think a daily habit would be where I fail and not an occasional one. Both times it was at a restaurant and I only ever drink when I am out to eat...so perhaps that is the trigger. As well as I fell asleep on Monday night, the beer kept me just beneath the surface of awake all night long. And even though I slept in on Tuesday...(glorious) I was not as rested as my mini vacation should have left me. (Ahhh...so much to ponder this behavior of mine...)
The positives I take away from this day and the one prior are two fold..the food was never really an issue. I manage to get good hot meals in on both days, my grab and go eating was healthy, and although I had to navigate a restaurant menu more than once I was able to keep to the program.... but all of this other stuff??? Well jumpin' sweet potatoes Paleo Man I will just have to see where the remaining 18 days take me.... to the Meat Mobile!
So Monday morning, ten minutes before I am supposed to go away for my 36 hours of race timing and visiting I am not ready, I haven't eaten, Kenny's hand is the size of a watermelon and I am in my pajamas. The girls are all set and the plans are made, but they are uneasy and sense my freneticism... bah...forget it...I will just ride to the race with a co-worker and come home. Screw it...this mini vacation s not worth the aggravation. I throw a bag of walnuts, a bag of almonds, some raisins, two bananas, a bag of baby carrots, a bag of grapes and a full wedge of Swiss cheese into a bag, change into my clothes and go to the race. By the time I got to Boston I am feeling better and the friendly atmosphere of the Boston Common on Tufts 10K Day washes over me. I feel at home....and thoroughly regret leaving all my unpacked crap at home...I wasn't worried anymore. Kenny called and his hand was fine...the girls were OK...BAH!!! We had lunch from Starbucks so I had chicken salad and water...and copious amounts of cheese and grapes...it was allllllll good.
As we drove home after the race I decided, as crazy as it was, to return to Boston and have my visit... I know...what a waste of quality visiting time. Except that I got to visit with my good friend and co-worker on the drive down and back, and I snuck in a Crossfit workout at home...(those ring pull ups were an armpit muscle killer...). I had some quick smooches with Molly and Gracie so I knew that they were okay...and I saw with my own eyes that Kenny's arm was not turning black and falling off. The den was safe and the mama bear could venture forth for her jungle holiday.
It was lovely, the drive down was quiet...when I arrived we went out to eat...my standard restaurant fare is a salad of some sort with grilled meat of some sort and this night was no exception....I must admit here....I had two pumpkin beers again...complete with the rim of the glass licking. You know... it is not lost on me that my two cheats have been alcohol...even though I seldom if ever drink... the honey bun which is a staple item in the standard Barb menu has not spoken to me for days... one would think a daily habit would be where I fail and not an occasional one. Both times it was at a restaurant and I only ever drink when I am out to eat...so perhaps that is the trigger. As well as I fell asleep on Monday night, the beer kept me just beneath the surface of awake all night long. And even though I slept in on Tuesday...(glorious) I was not as rested as my mini vacation should have left me. (Ahhh...so much to ponder this behavior of mine...)
The positives I take away from this day and the one prior are two fold..the food was never really an issue. I manage to get good hot meals in on both days, my grab and go eating was healthy, and although I had to navigate a restaurant menu more than once I was able to keep to the program.... but all of this other stuff??? Well jumpin' sweet potatoes Paleo Man I will just have to see where the remaining 18 days take me.... to the Meat Mobile!
Monday, October 8, 2012
30 for 30 Clean Eating Challenge Day 11
So my weight....in the first few days it took a nose dive...and I lost five pounds...down to 121...like food, weight is not something that I like think about...I don't see much of a difference day to day. To me 121 vs. 129 (which is what I weighed Saturday night after my Paleo love fest doesn't look or feel all that different...at least it didn't this week. So now it is early Monday morning and I am 125...which is pretty much what I have weighed for the last 6 months.... the body is amazing isn't it??? It just knows... I have had a Day off (love fest day), an easy three mile run day, I will have to miss today as I am timing a race in Boston and tomorrow I will most likely only be a run.(oh my God did I just say "Only" in front of the word run???) I have certainly come a long way since November 17th....
I ran a personal best 5K a couple of weeks ago...(not a lifetime PR by any stretch) but my fastest since having my children...so an 11 year PR and if we want to get technical it was probably my fastest 5K since 1996....sooooooo....yeah I am pretty excited. Even more so since my total weekly mileage had hovered around 15 miles a week max for the last four months...and just 20 or so before that....in my hope to RX "Grace" for the Barbells for Boobs fundraiser I am having to change my thinking. This food challenge is part of that....as is the slow realization that to meet some of my Crossfit goals I have to let go of some of my running. So the 21:13 5K was to just "see" how fast I could run with no traditional training....and I was pretty pumped. Although I am going through a lot of changes, I am still a runner and winning a race was the best feeling ever. It has also made me realise that I am still a runner...I want to run faster...I want to break 20 minutes...I want to run fast!!!
But back to "Grace"....a crossfit workout named Grace which consists of 30 clean and jerks for time at 95 pounds. I can do 75 pounds.....and I believe I could do 85 pounds today....but the workout is 95 and that is my hope...so the "just running" part truly shows my new state of mind.... oh..the food...
I didn't really have to think about it....the omelets, the protein shakes, the veggies, the meat, the water, the fruit....grocery shopping was pretty easy and mindless and well...it is coming together this new way of eating...as is the food...and the weight training...I wonder sometimes if I am being brainwashed...maybe...maybe I am....if I am drinking the Kool-Aid then clearly it is Paleo Kool-Aid...yum yum!!!
I ran a personal best 5K a couple of weeks ago...(not a lifetime PR by any stretch) but my fastest since having my children...so an 11 year PR and if we want to get technical it was probably my fastest 5K since 1996....sooooooo....yeah I am pretty excited. Even more so since my total weekly mileage had hovered around 15 miles a week max for the last four months...and just 20 or so before that....in my hope to RX "Grace" for the Barbells for Boobs fundraiser I am having to change my thinking. This food challenge is part of that....as is the slow realization that to meet some of my Crossfit goals I have to let go of some of my running. So the 21:13 5K was to just "see" how fast I could run with no traditional training....and I was pretty pumped. Although I am going through a lot of changes, I am still a runner and winning a race was the best feeling ever. It has also made me realise that I am still a runner...I want to run faster...I want to break 20 minutes...I want to run fast!!!
But back to "Grace"....a crossfit workout named Grace which consists of 30 clean and jerks for time at 95 pounds. I can do 75 pounds.....and I believe I could do 85 pounds today....but the workout is 95 and that is my hope...so the "just running" part truly shows my new state of mind.... oh..the food...
I didn't really have to think about it....the omelets, the protein shakes, the veggies, the meat, the water, the fruit....grocery shopping was pretty easy and mindless and well...it is coming together this new way of eating...as is the food...and the weight training...I wonder sometimes if I am being brainwashed...maybe...maybe I am....if I am drinking the Kool-Aid then clearly it is Paleo Kool-Aid...yum yum!!!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
30 for 30 Day 10...Paleo Potluck!!
I overslept....and lingered over my coffee...and had to work with Miss Robyn at Flipz at 8:30...so a milk and protein powder shake was it....for a four hour stretch it would have to suffice as I can no longer drive through the Dunkn Donuts that is on my way there...until I arrived at the gym and Robyn's special paleo chicken was sending it's heavenly smell my way...yup...at 8:30 in the morning I was eating chicken and salsa....So yummy.... why...you ask...did Robyn have a crock pot full of chicken at Flipz at 8:30am on a Saturday???? Well there are one hundred awesome answers to this question but the real one is that it was for the "Paleo Potluck" that our fellow Mountaineer Jill Albee was hosting later that day. See... this is what I love about my Crossfit Gym....we be family.... dysfunctional and scary at times...but family none the less.
After teaching incredibly adorable three year olds, then some pretty awesome 4-10 year olds, and watching an 11 year old do gymnastics to raise money for Making Strides (read my blog on www.patch.com) Robyn, Molly and I went to the potluck. I have to be honest...after eating three plates of food I think I was full for the first time in ten days...there were so many choices, and I just ate and ate and ate...what is even better is that Molly led the way with HER three plates of food. Molly is nine...she would do Crossfit NOW if she could. She rolls out, she checks in with me as to how my WODs are going, she wants me to teach her things like kettlebell swings and devil lunges (she is her mother's daughter after all)...she can also polish off junk food like a mouse in a twinkie factory...(she is her mother's daughter after all)... and apparently loves eating Paleo! I can not for the life of me remember what all of the fantastic food was called, and we all know cooking is not a strength or personal favorite of mine, but I can make my way around a crock pot and lots of recipes in this handy dandy Paleo Cookbook that was prominently displayed involve cutting up food, putting it into a crock pot and well...leaving it there all day while you do other things...(my kinda cooking!!) Had it not been my allergic reaction to the cats, (which did NOT interfere with my appetite this time around) I would have had plate number four... as it was I didn't feel hungry for the rest of the day...it was AWEsome!! Totally...awesome...
The potluck also illustrated how wonderful it is to get together and "break bread" with people...(of course we broke meat not bread) but this eating we do also feeds our social and emotional hunger... our need to be together with people who relate to us. It is personal and intimate, at least the potluck was... I can't speak for Hooters on a Sunday afternoon during football season, but again...social and emotional needs being met with food and friends...(ok and football). Dinner was a "snack plate" of veggies, cheese, and fruit...it was yummy...and my yogurt and frozen blueberry and veggie juice protein smoothie was the perfect dessert.... yup...Day Ten...was perfect...a perfect 10!!!
After teaching incredibly adorable three year olds, then some pretty awesome 4-10 year olds, and watching an 11 year old do gymnastics to raise money for Making Strides (read my blog on www.patch.com) Robyn, Molly and I went to the potluck. I have to be honest...after eating three plates of food I think I was full for the first time in ten days...there were so many choices, and I just ate and ate and ate...what is even better is that Molly led the way with HER three plates of food. Molly is nine...she would do Crossfit NOW if she could. She rolls out, she checks in with me as to how my WODs are going, she wants me to teach her things like kettlebell swings and devil lunges (she is her mother's daughter after all)...she can also polish off junk food like a mouse in a twinkie factory...(she is her mother's daughter after all)... and apparently loves eating Paleo! I can not for the life of me remember what all of the fantastic food was called, and we all know cooking is not a strength or personal favorite of mine, but I can make my way around a crock pot and lots of recipes in this handy dandy Paleo Cookbook that was prominently displayed involve cutting up food, putting it into a crock pot and well...leaving it there all day while you do other things...(my kinda cooking!!) Had it not been my allergic reaction to the cats, (which did NOT interfere with my appetite this time around) I would have had plate number four... as it was I didn't feel hungry for the rest of the day...it was AWEsome!! Totally...awesome...
The potluck also illustrated how wonderful it is to get together and "break bread" with people...(of course we broke meat not bread) but this eating we do also feeds our social and emotional hunger... our need to be together with people who relate to us. It is personal and intimate, at least the potluck was... I can't speak for Hooters on a Sunday afternoon during football season, but again...social and emotional needs being met with food and friends...(ok and football). Dinner was a "snack plate" of veggies, cheese, and fruit...it was yummy...and my yogurt and frozen blueberry and veggie juice protein smoothie was the perfect dessert.... yup...Day Ten...was perfect...a perfect 10!!!
30 for 30 Food Challenge Day 9
I have always loved the number none...it is round, it the the last single digit...the last pure number...sort of like a primary color...it is nine all by itself...all other numbers after nine are comprised by a combination of two, three four etc. other numbers... and like all of the days thus far 9 did not disappoint. It was a warm Indian Summer sort of day. I had a great Crossfit workout. The girls were home so I got to spend time with them. I had time to prepare food for myself... oh and did I mention that I had to take Kenny to the hospital to get a fistula put into his arm so he will be ready for kidney dialysis when that starts. Yeah...that was tricky...but the rest of it was fine.
I am settling into a routine now...I really enjoy omelets and scrambled eggs. It is easy to add vegetables to eggs cooked this way and I don't need toast to slather in egg yolks like I would with over easy eggs...I am eating a dozen eggs a week easily and feel great. I am also getting creative with the blending of fruits and veggies into my protein shakes. A truly Paleolithic diet would not include dairy, but I need the calories so plain yogurt makes these shakes thick and filling. I am beginning to master the art of having lots of little Tupperware containers filled with foods for me to use for my grab and go lifestyle...my mother and I actually cooked dinner together and we all sat down and ate together. Chicken...(okay the grocery store cooked this) but the sweet potatoes, corn and green beans were all prepared by Mommy and Me. What became tricky for me is when they all had ice cream for dessert I was left to watch....soooooooo.....a smoothie it was....I know that fruit at night isn't in the true clean strict paleo version of eating and as I am still in the learning curve I thought that this was a pretty good choice for myself...and it totally took care of any desire I had for the ice cream.
Today was a pretty good day in spite of all the running around. It is amazing what the sun does for me. It's warmth on my skin, the smells is creates as nature's plants respond to it's light, the blue of the sky. I was once an avid tanner...but 4 melanomas have tamed my oil based sun tanning practices to SPF 70 with a visor and a beach umbrella at the ocean. I am still as brown as can be...and while my melanoma issues were set in stone with all of those 1970's and 1980's peeling sunburns, my children have never been burned. (Although they have both had several suspicious moles removed). So today was a bit boring on the food front...I managed...although the cupboards are getting bare and I have lots of things to do in the next few days...but I am sure it will all work out just fine...things have a way of falling into place...(or falling apart...)...double digits here we come!!!
I am settling into a routine now...I really enjoy omelets and scrambled eggs. It is easy to add vegetables to eggs cooked this way and I don't need toast to slather in egg yolks like I would with over easy eggs...I am eating a dozen eggs a week easily and feel great. I am also getting creative with the blending of fruits and veggies into my protein shakes. A truly Paleolithic diet would not include dairy, but I need the calories so plain yogurt makes these shakes thick and filling. I am beginning to master the art of having lots of little Tupperware containers filled with foods for me to use for my grab and go lifestyle...my mother and I actually cooked dinner together and we all sat down and ate together. Chicken...(okay the grocery store cooked this) but the sweet potatoes, corn and green beans were all prepared by Mommy and Me. What became tricky for me is when they all had ice cream for dessert I was left to watch....soooooooo.....a smoothie it was....I know that fruit at night isn't in the true clean strict paleo version of eating and as I am still in the learning curve I thought that this was a pretty good choice for myself...and it totally took care of any desire I had for the ice cream.
Today was a pretty good day in spite of all the running around. It is amazing what the sun does for me. It's warmth on my skin, the smells is creates as nature's plants respond to it's light, the blue of the sky. I was once an avid tanner...but 4 melanomas have tamed my oil based sun tanning practices to SPF 70 with a visor and a beach umbrella at the ocean. I am still as brown as can be...and while my melanoma issues were set in stone with all of those 1970's and 1980's peeling sunburns, my children have never been burned. (Although they have both had several suspicious moles removed). So today was a bit boring on the food front...I managed...although the cupboards are getting bare and I have lots of things to do in the next few days...but I am sure it will all work out just fine...things have a way of falling into place...(or falling apart...)...double digits here we come!!!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
WMCF 30 in 30 Crazy Eights!!!
So Day Eight...no coincidence AT ALL that the craziest day so far in this journey of mine happened on Day Eight.......Crazy Eight...I always hated that card game as a kid but this isn't about a card game. I had to go to court today..I have been fighting a "crazy couple" for a number of years now...I am currently protected (well as much as a piece of paper can protect you) from these people with a stalking petition which ends in two months...and today I had to go to court to deal with yet another one of their attempts to deflect their "cuckoo for cocoa puffs' nature on me. Although I was pretty sure the judge would see things from my perspective I was still very anxious (read panicky) about the hearing. I do not like being near them, looking at them, thinking about them, or even contemplating their existence on the planet. But contemplate I did, all night long and all morning as I prepared for the hearing, went to Crossfit, showered, and ate...oh wait...I didn't actually eat....and by actually I mean nothing went into my stomach except some Pepto Bismal (pretty sure not Paleo) some coffee (not much) and a protein smoothie...(forced down my throat)...no problem with cheating today...I was not eating.
After the hearing, which went well by the way, even though I was treated to an hour of listening to them insult and belittle me, I was ravenous...but alas I had NO TIME to cook(surprise surprise) so I did my usual wolf down anything that was a vegetable, cheese, fruit, or meat. Fortunately for me I had all of these remnants in my fridge...there was no rhyme or reason to my choices, a green pepper, some carrots, swiss cheese, a glass of milk, a banana, some nuts...I didn't care....as I completed my gymnastics class and pondered my evening I realised that I had TWO hours before I had to get Molly and Gracie...Sooooooo...I went to Cheers. I ordered a giant chopped salad and some steak tips. It was heaven...and there was nothing crazy about it...I also ordered a Pumpkinhead Ale...yup...I cheated...I had a beer...(two actually) and I licked ALL of the cinnamon off the rim of both glasses...(I am sure I looked like someone out on a three hour pass but I didn't care)... I relaxed...enjoyed the peace and quiet...and well...relaxed....
As I wind up this short summation...(I want to forget this day) I will say that after a long time of drinking..the beer didn't really sit well...I would like to blame it on the steak but we ALL know that it isn't the case...the sugar in the beer made it difficult to fall asleep...(read up all night) but I have moved on....the Honey Bun rests peacefully on my kitchen counter and day nine fast approaches...so why live in the past??? It's Allllllllll good...(even when it isn't!)
After the hearing, which went well by the way, even though I was treated to an hour of listening to them insult and belittle me, I was ravenous...but alas I had NO TIME to cook(surprise surprise) so I did my usual wolf down anything that was a vegetable, cheese, fruit, or meat. Fortunately for me I had all of these remnants in my fridge...there was no rhyme or reason to my choices, a green pepper, some carrots, swiss cheese, a glass of milk, a banana, some nuts...I didn't care....as I completed my gymnastics class and pondered my evening I realised that I had TWO hours before I had to get Molly and Gracie...Sooooooo...I went to Cheers. I ordered a giant chopped salad and some steak tips. It was heaven...and there was nothing crazy about it...I also ordered a Pumpkinhead Ale...yup...I cheated...I had a beer...(two actually) and I licked ALL of the cinnamon off the rim of both glasses...(I am sure I looked like someone out on a three hour pass but I didn't care)... I relaxed...enjoyed the peace and quiet...and well...relaxed....
As I wind up this short summation...(I want to forget this day) I will say that after a long time of drinking..the beer didn't really sit well...I would like to blame it on the steak but we ALL know that it isn't the case...the sugar in the beer made it difficult to fall asleep...(read up all night) but I have moved on....the Honey Bun rests peacefully on my kitchen counter and day nine fast approaches...so why live in the past??? It's Allllllllll good...(even when it isn't!)
Friday, October 5, 2012
30 for 30 Clean Eating Food Challenge Day Seven
"Seven.....I'm in Seven...." okay the real lyric is Heaven and I do NOT feel that this is where I am, but today was a great example of me forgetting to eat and then cobbling together several snacks that contain all of the nutrients and calories I am supposed to get...it was so typically me it was laughable...too busy to focus on what really matters, with tasks that could have been completed in a timely manner day to day...
I had a home day where I could get caught up with my online teaching work, answer emails, fill out a mountain of paperwork so my family can continue receiving medical assistance, reply to road race timing emails, workout and then of course the taxiing of my children here there and everywhere. The only thing that saved me was all of the pre-prepared as well as left over meat in my fridge, and the veggies, and the whey protein shakes...cheese and grapes...the one last banana...I perform best when I have a timed schedule...if I have 20 minutes to complete a task it takes me 20 minutes, if I have three hours it takes me three hours...and I also procrastinate so when I get these home days I typically have a week's worth of catching up to do... so on this day I did what any highly motivated mover and shaker would do...I did laundry...totally unnecessary laundry. When I finally sat down at the computer and began my litany of tasks ten minutes was suddenly three hours.
I did the 1:00 Crossfit Class so I did, at least, have my big veggie omelet at 10:00...along with my usual snacks...it is after the class where things fell apart...no time for a second meal...so I cram a piece of chicken down my throat washed down with coffee and water, grab the rest of the baby carrots and a protein shake and rush off to daughter shuttling and coaching. Today is Wednesday (on Wednesdays we wear pink) so it is allergy shot night. By the time I got home it was 8:00pm and I had consumed exactly ONE meal and a variety of healthy but none-the less "drive by " type snacks. I weighed less at the end of the day than the beginning. A two pork chop dinner with corn and tomatoes saved me and I went to bed full...and although there is nothing exciting in this post I really had my "behavior" thrown into my face today. It comes up in conversations, it comes up in my thoughts, and it evokes memories....."Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it...." This is me...
There was a period of my childhood that was extremely chaotic. Lack of money, alcoholism, fighting parents, abuse, fear, anxiety...from roughly age 8 to 13 most of my memories seem to be framed by either cloudy skies or the dark of night. Children are resilient and have remarkable ways of coping with stressors that they can not control. My coping mechanism was filling my life with so many activities that there was no time for me to think. In 5th grade, 1973, when the majority of children walked home to their stay at home Moms, changed into play clothes and wandered outside to find their friends I was a fully scheduled being. Monday was choir rehearsal and swim team, Tuesday was girl scouts, Wednesday was piano lessons and swim team, Thursday was youth group, and Friday was swim team. I also played violin in the school music program. By staying so busy, I could focus on the current task at hand. It would all fall apart...this manipulation of my emotions if my mother was even 3 seconds late picking me up at night. I would become hysterical sometimes...these were tough times and while I am glad that (aside from my stellar college binge drinking career) I didn't fall prey to other more negative coping mechanisms, my busy schedule continued throughout high school, (cross-country, track, dance, drama club, a job), college, (cross-country, track, job, volunteer coaching, extra classes) and into my professional career (full time teaching, Walker School Track, Track Camp, coaching three seasons of high school sports for 12 years, Princeton Camp, Road Race Timing, Team Breakfasts and events, raising two daughters). Since losing my job almost two years ago I have had to face long periods of time alone....I prefer busy...my current schedule should be perfect for attempting to change food habits as I allegedly have ample time to prepare new and exciting foods...but the voices in my head are quick to say "whoa....slow down there little buddy...do some laundry and organize the recycling....NO thinking allowed..." and so when I do manage to sit at my laptop, just feet from my kitchen and plow through three hours of work, all the while ignoring my loudly grumbling stomach, or quickly quelling it with a banana or carrots with almond butter it is 1973 all over again. It is amazing how little food it takes to make me stop feeling hungry...and it is amazing how much I want to avoid thinking...let me be clear...I have no trouble feeling, in fact I wear my emotions on my sleeve all the time. I only buy clothing that has the sleeve attachments for emotions, or I wear sleeveless tops as my feelings are tattooed there on my arms...the flippant humor in my blog posts...oh yeah that is me not wanting to think...or seriously acknowledge all of the things following this food plan is bringing up... So the positive???? I feel much better! Physically that is, and I am actually pretty amazed how un-tempted I am by the junk foods I live amongst...I would, afterall, have to admit it here if I ate them so that helps...so as I wrap up day seven, no processed sugar or carbs or food have entered my body... and I am still relatively myself....just a healthier version:) Oh and busy, did I mention busy?? Yeah...I am busy.
I had a home day where I could get caught up with my online teaching work, answer emails, fill out a mountain of paperwork so my family can continue receiving medical assistance, reply to road race timing emails, workout and then of course the taxiing of my children here there and everywhere. The only thing that saved me was all of the pre-prepared as well as left over meat in my fridge, and the veggies, and the whey protein shakes...cheese and grapes...the one last banana...I perform best when I have a timed schedule...if I have 20 minutes to complete a task it takes me 20 minutes, if I have three hours it takes me three hours...and I also procrastinate so when I get these home days I typically have a week's worth of catching up to do... so on this day I did what any highly motivated mover and shaker would do...I did laundry...totally unnecessary laundry. When I finally sat down at the computer and began my litany of tasks ten minutes was suddenly three hours.
I did the 1:00 Crossfit Class so I did, at least, have my big veggie omelet at 10:00...along with my usual snacks...it is after the class where things fell apart...no time for a second meal...so I cram a piece of chicken down my throat washed down with coffee and water, grab the rest of the baby carrots and a protein shake and rush off to daughter shuttling and coaching. Today is Wednesday (on Wednesdays we wear pink) so it is allergy shot night. By the time I got home it was 8:00pm and I had consumed exactly ONE meal and a variety of healthy but none-the less "drive by " type snacks. I weighed less at the end of the day than the beginning. A two pork chop dinner with corn and tomatoes saved me and I went to bed full...and although there is nothing exciting in this post I really had my "behavior" thrown into my face today. It comes up in conversations, it comes up in my thoughts, and it evokes memories....."Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it...." This is me...
There was a period of my childhood that was extremely chaotic. Lack of money, alcoholism, fighting parents, abuse, fear, anxiety...from roughly age 8 to 13 most of my memories seem to be framed by either cloudy skies or the dark of night. Children are resilient and have remarkable ways of coping with stressors that they can not control. My coping mechanism was filling my life with so many activities that there was no time for me to think. In 5th grade, 1973, when the majority of children walked home to their stay at home Moms, changed into play clothes and wandered outside to find their friends I was a fully scheduled being. Monday was choir rehearsal and swim team, Tuesday was girl scouts, Wednesday was piano lessons and swim team, Thursday was youth group, and Friday was swim team. I also played violin in the school music program. By staying so busy, I could focus on the current task at hand. It would all fall apart...this manipulation of my emotions if my mother was even 3 seconds late picking me up at night. I would become hysterical sometimes...these were tough times and while I am glad that (aside from my stellar college binge drinking career) I didn't fall prey to other more negative coping mechanisms, my busy schedule continued throughout high school, (cross-country, track, dance, drama club, a job), college, (cross-country, track, job, volunteer coaching, extra classes) and into my professional career (full time teaching, Walker School Track, Track Camp, coaching three seasons of high school sports for 12 years, Princeton Camp, Road Race Timing, Team Breakfasts and events, raising two daughters). Since losing my job almost two years ago I have had to face long periods of time alone....I prefer busy...my current schedule should be perfect for attempting to change food habits as I allegedly have ample time to prepare new and exciting foods...but the voices in my head are quick to say "whoa....slow down there little buddy...do some laundry and organize the recycling....NO thinking allowed..." and so when I do manage to sit at my laptop, just feet from my kitchen and plow through three hours of work, all the while ignoring my loudly grumbling stomach, or quickly quelling it with a banana or carrots with almond butter it is 1973 all over again. It is amazing how little food it takes to make me stop feeling hungry...and it is amazing how much I want to avoid thinking...let me be clear...I have no trouble feeling, in fact I wear my emotions on my sleeve all the time. I only buy clothing that has the sleeve attachments for emotions, or I wear sleeveless tops as my feelings are tattooed there on my arms...the flippant humor in my blog posts...oh yeah that is me not wanting to think...or seriously acknowledge all of the things following this food plan is bringing up... So the positive???? I feel much better! Physically that is, and I am actually pretty amazed how un-tempted I am by the junk foods I live amongst...I would, afterall, have to admit it here if I ate them so that helps...so as I wrap up day seven, no processed sugar or carbs or food have entered my body... and I am still relatively myself....just a healthier version:) Oh and busy, did I mention busy?? Yeah...I am busy.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
30 for 30 "How Many Is Six??"
Sesame Street...the number of the day..."one...two...three...four...five..six! six! six! six! How many is siiiixxxx?????" So as I was stretching out with Chandler at White Mountain Crossfit at the beginning of day six the conversation turned to this diet challenge. (orcourse!!) I was bragging about how my level of Crossfit Awesomeness was growing daily...(really, I am this pathetic!) I was also complaining that even though I had eliminated the bad foods I didn't feel like I was "doing it right". He looked at me in a puzzled way and said, 'what ever way you are doing it is right". (and this is what we love about Chandler...he just makes you feel better about things!)
My doing it wrong sentiments stem from one of my biggest excuses (formerly reasons) for not participating in structured eating plans. There always seems to be some magic yet confusing formula regarding how much of what exactly you are supposed to eat at a particular time in a particular way to maximize the value of the food you are eating....I think terms like amino acids and enzymes start to be discussed at this point and ofcourse lets not forget the good old glycogen, glucagon, glycemic index....bah! This counting of servings and measuring of foods and combinations of ingredients takes what ever pleasure there was in eating far far away...atleast for me...I can apply this very same exact mathematical process to determining a track work out for a 5000m runner with unabashed glee... so yeah...it's the food...so far I am just eliminating the bad...and replacing it with the good. I have not imbibed ANY processed food in six days...(although the roar of the honey bun singing "Call Me Maybe" from the counter in the pantry has me eating bananas like Curious George..) Day six had me serving Dominos Pizza (hot and yummy smelling) to my children as I rushed from a wake to tap class. My growling stomach was telling me to just eat the damned pizza and be done with it. But it was Gracie (my daughter) who offered support...(and handed me banana) as we rushed out the door. "it's okay Mommy, it didn't taste very good today anyway". I ended up having two pork chops, an ear of corn, and salad for dinner later on so the near disaster was averted.
I really do actually want to learn more about portion size and combinations of food and such, as well as how much I should be eating...but what gets me is that, as a mother of daughters, and a health teacher, and a coach of distance runners, dancers and gymnasts...one of the biggest messages I try to give to young girls is to trust their bodies, and to recgnize that they are FINE just the way they are...(meaning genetics, not poor eating habits). When my daughters ask for a sweet snack my first response is to ask them what they have eaten that day...if there hasn't been enough protein or healthy carbs they know that before they eat the sweet they need to have something healthy first. My youngest, Molly has these answers ready for me before she even asks...or will come in eating cheese and an apple letting me know that she has her eye on the butter crunch ice cream in the fridge so she is having a healthy snack first. What happens more often than not is thehealthy snack fills them up and they do not edd up eating the sweet...and when they ask me if they should eat less or more at a meal I ask them to tell me what their bodies are saying? My daughter Molly is a boredom eater. She opens and closes the refridgerator door all day long. She actually pointed this out to me and will often say "I'm not sure if I am hungry or bored". We get busy with something for a few minutes and then I ask her if she is hungry...again...she is learning about her body and it's quirks and needs.
So as I type this I realize that I do, actually, have a generally good grasp of what good eating habits look like, in a general way, just not in a specific way. I eat when I am hungry and I stop when I am full. (Actually, I don't always eat when I am hungry...this is a lie...I forget to eat all the time...) But I do not over eat and I don't eat just because the clock says I should...I let my body dictate that...(well, my body would disagree with me right now because as I write this my stomach is singing a lovely song remeniscent of a giant Venus Fly Trap singing "Feed Me" to Seymore in Little Shop of Horrors). SO aside from my own scheduling priorities I get it...and as my body gets comfortable with this new way of eating I imagine the details will come to me...and I will learn the magical number of the day and get more out of this than simply the elimination of the bad...Day six consisted of two protein shakes, lots of coffee, three bananas, some grapes, a 3 egg (quack) omelet with salsa, carrots, celery, peppers, mushrooms and cheese, two small bowls of trail mix (nuts and seeds) and the above mentioned dinner...and three bottles of water...no burpees however....it was raining out and when I do them inside my house things fall off shelves. Baby steps....
My doing it wrong sentiments stem from one of my biggest excuses (formerly reasons) for not participating in structured eating plans. There always seems to be some magic yet confusing formula regarding how much of what exactly you are supposed to eat at a particular time in a particular way to maximize the value of the food you are eating....I think terms like amino acids and enzymes start to be discussed at this point and ofcourse lets not forget the good old glycogen, glucagon, glycemic index....bah! This counting of servings and measuring of foods and combinations of ingredients takes what ever pleasure there was in eating far far away...atleast for me...I can apply this very same exact mathematical process to determining a track work out for a 5000m runner with unabashed glee... so yeah...it's the food...so far I am just eliminating the bad...and replacing it with the good. I have not imbibed ANY processed food in six days...(although the roar of the honey bun singing "Call Me Maybe" from the counter in the pantry has me eating bananas like Curious George..) Day six had me serving Dominos Pizza (hot and yummy smelling) to my children as I rushed from a wake to tap class. My growling stomach was telling me to just eat the damned pizza and be done with it. But it was Gracie (my daughter) who offered support...(and handed me banana) as we rushed out the door. "it's okay Mommy, it didn't taste very good today anyway". I ended up having two pork chops, an ear of corn, and salad for dinner later on so the near disaster was averted.
I really do actually want to learn more about portion size and combinations of food and such, as well as how much I should be eating...but what gets me is that, as a mother of daughters, and a health teacher, and a coach of distance runners, dancers and gymnasts...one of the biggest messages I try to give to young girls is to trust their bodies, and to recgnize that they are FINE just the way they are...(meaning genetics, not poor eating habits). When my daughters ask for a sweet snack my first response is to ask them what they have eaten that day...if there hasn't been enough protein or healthy carbs they know that before they eat the sweet they need to have something healthy first. My youngest, Molly has these answers ready for me before she even asks...or will come in eating cheese and an apple letting me know that she has her eye on the butter crunch ice cream in the fridge so she is having a healthy snack first. What happens more often than not is thehealthy snack fills them up and they do not edd up eating the sweet...and when they ask me if they should eat less or more at a meal I ask them to tell me what their bodies are saying? My daughter Molly is a boredom eater. She opens and closes the refridgerator door all day long. She actually pointed this out to me and will often say "I'm not sure if I am hungry or bored". We get busy with something for a few minutes and then I ask her if she is hungry...again...she is learning about her body and it's quirks and needs.
So as I type this I realize that I do, actually, have a generally good grasp of what good eating habits look like, in a general way, just not in a specific way. I eat when I am hungry and I stop when I am full. (Actually, I don't always eat when I am hungry...this is a lie...I forget to eat all the time...) But I do not over eat and I don't eat just because the clock says I should...I let my body dictate that...(well, my body would disagree with me right now because as I write this my stomach is singing a lovely song remeniscent of a giant Venus Fly Trap singing "Feed Me" to Seymore in Little Shop of Horrors). SO aside from my own scheduling priorities I get it...and as my body gets comfortable with this new way of eating I imagine the details will come to me...and I will learn the magical number of the day and get more out of this than simply the elimination of the bad...Day six consisted of two protein shakes, lots of coffee, three bananas, some grapes, a 3 egg (quack) omelet with salsa, carrots, celery, peppers, mushrooms and cheese, two small bowls of trail mix (nuts and seeds) and the above mentioned dinner...and three bottles of water...no burpees however....it was raining out and when I do them inside my house things fall off shelves. Baby steps....
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
FIVE GIANT EGGS! 30 for 30 Food Challenge
So incase you missed the Five Golden Rings analogy I wanted to be super excited about Day Five. As I go along with this new way of eating I am brought back in time to a quote I made in Health Class one day. We were talking about addiction (surprise surprise) and about quitting bad habits or behaviors. "Quitting is easy!" I said as I jumped up onto the lab bench at the front of the class,"I've done it a million times". A particularly witty student jumped right in and pointed out the irony of my statement. (Which, sadly, he caught before I did). If I had quit a million times, then I had fallen off the wagon a million times! I wasn't referring to a particular addiction at the time but as we listed them on the white board it became apparent to me that I had started and stopped and started many things. Diets, budgets, time management, alcohol, running, weight training, house cleaning schedules, you name it, I had started and then stopped and then started and then stopped a gazillion times. (Spoiler alert...so have all of you readng this blog).
I want this one to be different...this changing of my food habits. So I am trying to create habits I can stick to, and acknowledge my intrinsic weaknesses in the creation of said habits. I also need to insert healthy choices inot the habits I may not be able to change in 30 days. Here is what I have come up with.
1. I am a snacker, a grazer, and not a meal eater. I do sit down and eat dinner in the evenings because I have to make it for Molly and Gracie. But otherwise I eat as I go. I will not change this habit easily as it is currently the result of my schedule right now. So rather than obsess about this...I will create snacks and food that I can grab that contain healthy ingredients. If it is less than ideal, it will still be better than a honey bun (still on my counter) and a diet soda (cases and cases in the truck that I have routinely grabbed).
2. I do not drink enough water. I DO drink ample coffee and used to take in a fair amount of soda and Life Water etc. As I have cut out the soda and Life Water I am getting thirstier and have begun drinking more water. My attempt at getting more water is to leave bottles of water in my car, in my gym bag and pretty much everywhere I spend any time. I am also making more smoothies which is 12 oz of water right there....
4. I am GREAT at eating friut but the veggies elude me. For now, I am using vegge juice in my smoothies...I get 4 servings in one smoothie. (no added ingredients or preservatives). I am also cooking them into my yummy yummy (quack) omlets. Oh and chopped salad...I love chopped salad.
So these are areas I will (based on 49 years of life) carry with me into the rest of my food eating practices.Oh, I also FORGET to eat. I get busy and when I remember I am usually late for something and then have to grab and go....aarrrggghhhh....so much more goes into eating well than I find comfortable. But when something as simple as choosing good food brings up a litany of other apparently unrelated behaviors it does give one pause...
I have done the 40 burpees three of the five days, I am staying late after my Crossfit workouts and stretching. I am rushing into my kitchen and EATING FIRST...but based on the three pounds I have lost since starting this new food plan I am not getting sufficient calories. I am not running much,and have taken two days completely off from exercising due to fighting a cold, but I need to add more calories (my apologies to my firends who struggle with weightloss,) when I follow my usual unconscious diet I weigh roughly 127 pounds. I am 124 today...so this forgetting part will need to be of focus...
One final note...when I said I was a good coach in a prior blog, my point was that I am very good at getting my athletes to do the EXACT things I can't seem to do myself. (other than run fast...that I can already do) The quintessential doctor who makes a lousy patient...the carpenter with the chronically unfinished house...yeah...the coach with the lousy dietary habits.... and there it is...
So after more bananas and trail mix and protein shakes with veggie juice and chopped salad with chicken and grapes with cheese and chicken and water I am through day five and onto day six...I think I will have an omelet!
I want this one to be different...this changing of my food habits. So I am trying to create habits I can stick to, and acknowledge my intrinsic weaknesses in the creation of said habits. I also need to insert healthy choices inot the habits I may not be able to change in 30 days. Here is what I have come up with.
1. I am a snacker, a grazer, and not a meal eater. I do sit down and eat dinner in the evenings because I have to make it for Molly and Gracie. But otherwise I eat as I go. I will not change this habit easily as it is currently the result of my schedule right now. So rather than obsess about this...I will create snacks and food that I can grab that contain healthy ingredients. If it is less than ideal, it will still be better than a honey bun (still on my counter) and a diet soda (cases and cases in the truck that I have routinely grabbed).
2. I do not drink enough water. I DO drink ample coffee and used to take in a fair amount of soda and Life Water etc. As I have cut out the soda and Life Water I am getting thirstier and have begun drinking more water. My attempt at getting more water is to leave bottles of water in my car, in my gym bag and pretty much everywhere I spend any time. I am also making more smoothies which is 12 oz of water right there....
4. I am GREAT at eating friut but the veggies elude me. For now, I am using vegge juice in my smoothies...I get 4 servings in one smoothie. (no added ingredients or preservatives). I am also cooking them into my yummy yummy (quack) omlets. Oh and chopped salad...I love chopped salad.
So these are areas I will (based on 49 years of life) carry with me into the rest of my food eating practices.Oh, I also FORGET to eat. I get busy and when I remember I am usually late for something and then have to grab and go....aarrrggghhhh....so much more goes into eating well than I find comfortable. But when something as simple as choosing good food brings up a litany of other apparently unrelated behaviors it does give one pause...
I have done the 40 burpees three of the five days, I am staying late after my Crossfit workouts and stretching. I am rushing into my kitchen and EATING FIRST...but based on the three pounds I have lost since starting this new food plan I am not getting sufficient calories. I am not running much,and have taken two days completely off from exercising due to fighting a cold, but I need to add more calories (my apologies to my firends who struggle with weightloss,) when I follow my usual unconscious diet I weigh roughly 127 pounds. I am 124 today...so this forgetting part will need to be of focus...
One final note...when I said I was a good coach in a prior blog, my point was that I am very good at getting my athletes to do the EXACT things I can't seem to do myself. (other than run fast...that I can already do) The quintessential doctor who makes a lousy patient...the carpenter with the chronically unfinished house...yeah...the coach with the lousy dietary habits.... and there it is...
So after more bananas and trail mix and protein shakes with veggie juice and chopped salad with chicken and grapes with cheese and chicken and water I am through day five and onto day six...I think I will have an omelet!
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